Coolican: Responding to my critics after a Marathon column

By J. Patrick Coolican

Wednesday, Dec. 21, 2011 | 2 a.m.

Note to readers: This column on the Las Vegas Marathon and allegations that tainted water was served during the race originally ran in Las Vegas Weekly, a sister publication, and it brought a level of verbal fire from readers I’ve rarely experienced, including the time I called Tea Partyers paranoid descendants of the John Birch Society. Hell hath no fury like a distance runner scorned! In this updated version of the column, I’ve annotated sections that evoked the most wrath. Enjoy.

As we scream fire in the proverbial crowded theater about whether some Las Vegas Rock ’n’ Roll Marathon runners got sick from tainted water, maybe it’s time to recall the origins of the marathon.

In ancient Greece, Pheidippides was a kind of military messenger, like Paul Revere. He ran roughly 25 miles from Marathon — where the Greeks fought a decisive battle with the Persians — to Athens. And then he collapsed and died. (Thanks, Wikipedia!)

(Yeah, I was kidding about Wikipedia being a source of historical information, as might have been apparent from the exclamation point. Obviously I don’t use Wikipedia, except for fun, and ancient Greek history. Also, yes, it was 25 miles. It became 26.2 miles during the modern Olympic era.)

To run a marathon is to bombard the body’s infrastructure with stress. So, a little sickness when running 26.2 miles should hardly come as a surprise.

In case you haven’t heard, the marathon on Dec. 4 wasn’t exactly flawless. In addition to those who claimed the water made them sick, the huge number of runners — 44,000, up from 28,000 last year — created some logistical problems.

Running lanes were crowded, which led to pushing and jostling and running outside the lanes on sidewalks. The finish line became a chaotic mess — or so I’ve read and been told — as a cold and windy rain had thousands of people jamming into Mandalay Bay right as the Michael Jackson Cirque show was letting out.

(Yes, I wasn’t there, but that doesn’t mean I can’t report or comment on the event. Walter Cronkite wasn’t on the moon either.)

Put that aside for a moment and consider the people who run marathons and how they might be the kind of people who enjoy a fine whine.

I used to live in Seattle, so I know them. They went to Stanford or USC and work at technology or consulting firms or have made so much money that they’re stay-at-home dads or moms or started their own nonprofit. They shop at Whole Foods but eat only 1,200 calories a day. They voted for President Barack Obama and felt so darned good about it. They consider the twice-annual sale at REI a religious event. They are the modern Organization Man and so can’t understand why the marathon didn’t go off with the efficiency of their second child’s midwifed home birth. They are the anti-Las Vegas. So, let’s be skeptical of their complaints.

(The runners hated that paragraph the most. But it was also a joke. I have a brother who is a Republican Army veteran and distance runner, so yeah, I realize not all runners are like that. Moreover, I’m hardly one to condemn the runner described — I have an REI membership, live in walking distance of Whole Foods and do some running myself. One angry reader went searching for my Boulder City half-marathon time like some sleazy political operative doing opposition research. Yet the responses to that paragraph were far and away my favorite because they merely confirmed what I asserted — that distance runners can be impossibly self-serious.)

Still, the snafus are inexcusable, especially for a city bent on convincing tourists that this is a great place to come for once-in-a-lifetime events.

Clark County Commissioner Steve Sisolak represents the Strip and has been fielding complaints since the marathon and wants the problems fixed: “When you bring them here and promote them, there’s a responsibility that goes with that.”

Pat Christenson is president of Las Vegas Events, which approves big events and their promoters — in this case Competitor Group. He blamed the bad weather and the huge number of runners.

Las Vegas Events has asked Competitor Group to produce a report in the next few weeks that would detail the problems and lay out a plan for solving them. Christenson said he expects the biggest challenge will be finding a way to lessen crowding at the start and finish.

As for tainted water, using fire hydrants to fill lined trash barrels is standard procedure for marathons.

(Standard procedure was probably an imprecise phrase — Competitor Group does this at events, but other marathons hand out bottled water, or so the runners screamed at me.)

To maintain water pressure, our hydrants use only potable water, and the water was tested in the days before the race.

The Southern Nevada Health District should have completed water quality tests soon. Of 1,000 people who completed a health district survey, 500 said they experienced some sickness. If you’re scoring at home: 500 of 44,000 is a bit more than 1 percent.

(The runners hated this, too — 500 out of 1,000 is a bit more than 1 percent? Ha-ha, Fox News math, they said. Yes, 500 out of 1,000 is half, but again, there were 44,000 runners. If 500 of them got sick, that’s not very many. Of course, people may have gotten sick and not reported it to the health department. Fine. But here’s the update: The Southern Nevada Health District has released a preliminary report on reports of sickness from the marathon: “While our initial testing has been unable to identify the pathogen, our initial analysis of the survey data indicates that the outbreak is most likely infectious in nature,” said Dr. Lawrence Sands, chief health officer. “We are continuing to test the samples we’ve received from runners to identify the cause. At this time, our investigation does not point to water given to runners as the likely source of the infection. Although we might be able to identify the pathogen, we might not be able to identify the source of the infection.”)

A water district spokesman noted that the water district has no idea what happens to the water once it leaves the water district’s valves. So, if there was contamination, it seems likely that’s where you’ll find it — after it left the water district’s control.

Sisolak and Christenson have confidence that Competitor Group, which promotes marathons throughout the world, will fix any problems because it has a record of doing so.

Lee Haney, a spokeswoman for Competitor Group, told me: “We’re committed to reviewing all the issues and making the race better so it’s a great experience for the participants and the town.”

Marathoners, a little piece of advice: Even our potable water is terrible, so next year go to REI, get yourself a Camelback and fill it with bottled water.

(Yeah, I realize you wouldn’t want to run a marathon with a Camelback. I was making light of our bad-tasting water. In the end, various commenters referred to me as “Rush Limbaugh” and a “homer” for sticking up for Las Vegas. I’m sure all my readers who are conservative Republicans and Vegas boosters would give a joyless laugh at both descriptors.)