Griffin’s here and she’s lettin’ it fly

By Joe Brown (contact)

Friday, July 3, 2009 | 2 a.m.

Chris Morris

Emmy-winning, Grammy-nominated comedian Kathy Griffin was immortalized in Las Vegas on Thursday night with her own wax figure at Madame Tussauds at the Venetian.

“I’m so afraid that when I’m standing next to my Madame Tussauds wax figure, now you know some queen is gonna say ‘Which is which?’ And I’m ready for it, I can handle it,” Griffin said Thursday, just a few hours before her Vegas flight.

“You know this is an action-packed trip for me, because (Thursday) is the unveiling,” said Griffin, who is also performing two stand-up shows tonight at Mandalay Bay.

Until Thursday’s ceremony Griffin had only seen a photo of her wax effigy.

“Someone sent me a photo of the people in London putting on the lipstick,” she said in her trademark breathless rasp. “It was so real that I said ‘I don’t remember that makeup guy.’ That’s how bad it is — I now am convinced I am my own wax figure. I can’t tell the difference anymore.”

Griffin gave the Tussauds’ artists a red Dolce & Gabbana dress she wore to host the Bravo A-List Awards show. “I also repurposed it because I’m looking out for the environment.

“I wish I would have had the forethought to give them a dress that I have in a double, and then I could go to the unveiling in the same dress and really confuse Las Vegas. I will be wearing a beautiful rented Carolina Herrera cocktail dress that does go back tomorrow like Cinderella.”

Griffin has a book coming out Sept. 8. “It’s called ‘Official Book Club Selection,’ because I’m trying to fool Oprah into thinking she chose it for her book club.”

This is in the tradition of last year’s comedy CD, “For Your Consideration,” which Griffin recorded expressly to win a Grammy nomination.

“Which worked, by the way,” she pointed out, righteously.

The book, she says, is a tell-all, “a memoir according to Kathy Griffin.”

But what hasn’t Griffin already told us in her stand-up act and her Bravo reality show “My Life on the D-List”?

“As a matter of fact, there are a few bombs in there,” she insisted. “I will tell you one thing that is in this book that is so heinous that you’re going to have to buy it. I’d like a little credit, ’cause it’s never been done: I put in one of my plastic surgery post-op photos that is so disgusting and horrifying and beyond Rihanna, you have no idea. It’s so horrible, it has to be in.

“And that’s how I do my whole act. I think about saying something, and then I think, ‘Oh no, that’s going too far.’ And then I think about it some more, and I’m like, ‘I don’t know — it’s so far I think it’s funny.’ So that’s where I’m coming from. That’s my creative artistic process.”

Griffin sometimes actually seems to shock herself as the words are coming out of her mouth.

“Oh yes — I appall myself and regret things constantly as I’m saying them. And believe me, in Vegas, you’ve got to kick it up a notch. I’m hoping my unshockable gays will show up.”

Before she set off for the plane to Vegas, that wax figure was still on Griffin’s mind. So many questions: Would it do justice to her currently sleek figure (which Griffin enjoys calling, a la Star magazine, a “bangin’ bikini bod”)?

And, more important, will it be anatomically correct?

“You know that I want to see what’s under there,” Griffin says. “So at some point, as soon as the Brits turn their backs, I’m gonna be lifting up my own dress — I wanna see what she’s got going on. I hope they did like a Brazilian wax, something sensible. And I hope the boobs look nice. My boobs are real — they’re one of the few things that are real. So at least I hope there’s a good support bra.”

And which waxen A-list celebs would her replica be stationed near? After all, Griffin has built her comedy empire on trash-talking Hollywood’s cool clique, the rich and fabulous.

In Griffin’s fantasy, she’ll stand in perpetuity between Cher and the Queen of England.

“But you know I’m gonna be probably between one of the guys from the ‘Thunder Down Under’ and, like, not even Donny and Marie — who’s another Osmond?” Griffin said with a sigh.

“I want it to be like ‘Night at the Museum,’ where, when they close it, they all come to life and then it’s a big orgy. And I’m startin’ with Jolie, honey.”