The Elevator

By Ron Kantowski

Saturday, Nov. 1, 2008 | 2 a.m.

I know it’s the day after Halloween but the elevator attendant has a lot of leftover bite-size Three Musketeers bars and candy corn that won’t keep until next year. (Well, maybe the candy corn would.) So here’s a special trick-or-treat edition of who’s going to the penthouse in local sports — and who’s getting the shaft.

GOING UP

Drag racing fans

A full-sized Nestle Crunch bar to the speed freaks who have purchased every reserved seat for Sunday’s elimination rounds of the ACDelco Las Vegas NHRA Nationals at Las Vegas Motor Speedway. But reserved seats at a drag race? John Milner and Bob Falfa from “American Graffiti” would never hear of it.

MWC-MVC Challenge

Reese’s Pieces and a Zagnut bar (do they still make those?) to the Mountain West and Missouri Valley conferences for agreeing to have their men’s basketball teams play one another in a series of games that could begin in 2009. People around here may be unfamiliar with its teams, but The Valley put two of its members in the Sweet Sixteen (Bradley and Wichita State) as recently as 2006. Who would you rather see the Rebels play — Creighton or Washburn? That’s what I thought. Now get off my porch.

Waylon Ukpong

Because he wanted to play football so badly, the Del Sol High nose tackle went from 420 pounds to 365 pounds during the offseason. Not only has his quality of life improved, so has the Del Sol defense with Ukpong anchoring the line. So give this man a rice cake and, more important, 10 more years of life expectancy.

GOING DOWN

Lon Kruger

I can’t believe I’m going to have to give the UNLV basketball coach, who ordinarily can do no wrong, a rock-hard popcorn ball. But that’s what he gets for scheduling his first radio show of the season at 7 p.m. Tuesday on ESPN 1100-AM — just about the time the polls will be closing here and the early returns from Montana will be coming in.

Pacific Coast League

Somebody at PCL headquarters needs to have his windows soaped for sending the Las Vegas 51s to Colorado Springs to open the 2009 season. My guess is that it will be 38 degrees with freezing rain when Colorado Springs native Goose Gossage throws out the first pitch. Somebody also needs to ask Phillies shortstop Jimmy Rollins where he gets those caps with the earmuffs.

Justin Timberlake’s bean counters

First, it was reported the Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children Open had a 10 percent to 20 percent increase in attendance over last year’s PGA Tour stop in Las Vegas. Then, an official news release said it was 50 percent. Because I couldn’t tell the difference between this year and last, tournament spin doctors get a stale Nature Valley Granola Bar (the official snack food of the PGA Tour) — or I get glasses.