The Elevator: Up and down the Vegas sports scene

By Ron Kantowski

Saturday, Oct. 25, 2008 | 2 a.m.

GOING UP

Going to class

In an effort to reduce missed classroom time for players, the UNLV baseball team has scheduled four doubleheaders next spring, against Maine on Feb. 21, St. Peter’s College on Feb. 28, Butler on March 7 and Northern Colorado on April 18. Given that they still use aluminum bats in college, where the pitching staffs are about as deep as the wading pool at Vern Troyer’s place, the twin bills should be wrapping up just about the time classes are starting the next morning.

Mountain West Conference

For agreement that will have one of its football teams playing in the Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl in Boise for the 2009 season and perhaps beyond. OK, so it’s Boise in December and the playing field is blue up there, which means if Boise State is the home team and it wears its all-blue uniforms, you can see only half the players on a regular-definition TV. Teams from non-BCS conferences that finish 7-5 have to take what they can get.

Wink Adams

I know the UNLV basketball season doesn’t begin until Nov. 17 but I thought I’d get an early start.

GOING DOWN

Mountain West Conference

For agreeing to send one of its teams to a bowl game named for a truck stop chain (see Going Up, second item). What are they gonna put in the swag bag for players? An ice scraper, a road map and a 96-oz. vacuum-sealed thermos emblazoned with their school logo? I swear I will never make fun of the Weed Eater Bowl again.

Clueless in the Apple

Alicia Silverstone, meet the G.S. Schwartz & Co. public relations firm of New York. We received a news release this week that began: “We know that the Nevada Wolf Pack has the greatest fans in the country, but are they the best at sports trivia? As the Wolf Pack prepares to take on the Texas Christian Horned Frogs, you can give your readers the chance to prove they are the most knowledgeable sports fans around and win fun prizes by hosting quick challenges using questions from the new ESPN Jeopardy! game from Pressman ...” How about this instead? We’ll send you a list of the Mountain West and WAC members and their cities and the home game of “Concentration.”

JV bowling

A revision in the scoring of high school bowling matches means the third game will become more important and fewer junior varsity bowlers probably will get to roll. Though I’ve got nothing against JV bowlers, I find the fact they are in the middle of a dispute somewhat amusing. “There are always going to be ways to get junior varsity bowlers ... experience,” one of the coaches said. Getting them a prom date, however, may prove a little more difficult.