Wednesday, May 16, 2012 | 4:42 p.m.
Battleship and What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Movies based on, respectively, a board game and an advice book. Which leads us to this conclusion: Moviemakers are just looking around their homes for inspiration these days. Hey, two can play that game!
Tchotchkes, the Movie In the vein of Toy Story, those Hummel figurines, glass mice and creepy “I Love You THIS Much” statues come to life and … well, we haven’t figured out the rest, but assume they’ll either save the world or sit around talking about it.
The Record Forget The Da Vinci Code. This thriller involves an assassination plot against the president—and to unravel it our hero has to decipher code embedded deep within Hawkwind cover art. Spoiler alert: Solving the mystery requires smoking lots of weed.
Roget’s Thesaurus Okay, we’re not exactly sure how to get this to the big screen, but how cool will this trailer be: “What’s another word for badass? Find out when Roget throws the book at the bad guys!”
Pictures: The Motion Picture Senile octogenarians look through scrapbooks, remember that they used to be Navy SEALs and foil a terrorist plot. Basically Cocoon, minus the aliens.