Facebook
Fark
Digg
Reddit
Stumble
Monday, Aug. 2, 2010 | 2 a.m.
Sitting across from Jack Brown, it’s easy to become self-conscious about your every move. It can’t be helped.
Brown is something of an expert in body language, a skill he’s sharing with businesspeople who want to understand more than spoken words.
An ophthalmologist by education, Brown says eyes are only one source of the nonverbal messages he has been researching since his teen years.
“Everyone’s walking around with a gold mine of information on their face,” he told me. “Our face and our body — you can almost think of them as ‘control panels’ for what’s going on inside of our brains.”
Even routine social interaction betrays information — especially because most of us are much more focused on what we’re saying than on our gestures or facial expressions. It becomes difficult to disguise the signals we’re sending out, even for the most disciplined among us, such as politicians and people who are frequently on television.
Such folks may be more disciplined than most of us, “but things still leak out,” Brown contends, no matter how hard they may try to disguise true feelings. Things such as blinking more frequently, for instance. Or simply touching the face more often.
“People touch their face when they have anxiety,” he noted. “They touch their nose … rub their eyes … put their finger in their ear.”
Conversely, people who normally use their hands a lot may also be reflecting anxiety — or perhaps even telling a lie — if they abruptly stop doing so during a conversation. Brown said this is because when someone is lying, some mannerisms may increase, but a few may actually decrease.
As one might expect, a lot of people who seek Brown’s services want to discern when someone is lying, for either professional or relationship reasons. And yes, he knows a number of telltale symptoms.
“When you tell even a white lie — and everyone tells them, they actually allow social interaction to occur — your face will itch. It will truly itch. You will have to touch your face to relieve it.”
There can even be a reaction on the receiving end of a lie, if the listener feels he or she is being misled.
“If I’m anxious about what I heard, I may scratch my ear. About what I see, maybe I rub my eye.”
On the flip side, sincerity can also be detected by the face.
“When people ask you a question and their eyebrows go up, they know the answer. That means it’s a rhetorical question. When they ask you a question and their eyebrows go down, they don’t know the answer.”
The eyes help in analyzing a smile.
“A true smile — it’s not in the mouth, it’s in the eyes. In a real smile, the eyes will squint a little. Sometimes in a good laugh, the eyes are almost completely shut. People who just smile with their mouths — that’s a false smile.”
If you can see only the upper teeth, it’s also a true smile, by the way.
All this must be put into context, though, including signals of anxiety. There’s no foolproof system for quickly assessing honesty or other emotions. External factors can contribute to the signals you’re getting.
“It could be that the speaker just remembered he forgot to pay his mortgage, and maybe his body language reflects that,” Brown said.
The key to effective analysis is to establish an individual’s “norm” or baseline behavior, a process that begins by getting people to openly describe both things they like and things that create anxiety in them. I wondered if he was doing this with me, and I suddenly became very aware of my hands, which I placed on the table.
People are more likely to trust other people when they can see their hands, he observed.
As we were leaving, I watched for the smile of the waitress when she said thanks. I noticed her eyes squinting a bit, and I could see only her upper teeth.
A version of this story appears in the July 23 In Business Las Vegas, a sister publication of the Sun.
Psychology 101. Good stuff!
this is classified information!!!!!!!!!!!
good one. ;)
'Your mouth says no but your body is saying yes, yes, yes'.
These are generalizations...they work a lot of the time but can mislead, and often be used to mislead by those who are aware....
If you think you just might be fired, you might want to watch for unusual body language of your boss or superior. A few weeks before I was fired my superior started flipping her hair around me, I thought this was odd behavior as I had not noticed her doing this around me or others previously. I now believe she knew it was just a little while before she finally got to get rid of me (I had previously spoken with my boss to stop her from treating me badly and getting rid of me is how he dealt with it).
Is not this what poker players do every day? If one plays poker for a living you would need to be able to "read" people's reactions to the cards delt and bets made.
So when another driver flips me off while smiling does his squinting eyes means he is serious or just wants a date?
Sometimes when I touch my nose, it's because there's a nosehair that needs to be clipped. Sometimes when I rub my eyes, it's because my sinuses are acting up. Etc, etc, ...
Tells are overrated. Noone knows what you're thinking or how you feel - with ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY. Be open to communication via body language, but don't rely on it. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Skerlahdee:
Thanks for your comment.
You're absolutely correct, sometimes when you touch your nose, it doesn't mean anything but an itch. One of the Cardinal Rules of Body Language is never interpret any gesture/expression, etc. in isolation. Generally speaking, you want to see three or four body language signals all consistent with the same message in a relatively short period of time, before you reach a conclusion. You would be very surprised at how often this occurs.
Everyone tells white lies. The next time you tell one - you will probably notice that your face itches. The itch isn't imagined - it's real. It occurs, among other things, because of increased blood pressure. The blood pressure increases because of anxiety. The anxiety arises from emotional dissonance. Part of you wants to tell the truth and part of you wants to lie. So the lie will often leak out through various body language signals. You feel an itch - so you scratch it. Certainly all itching isn't caused by lying - but a good chunk of facial itching sure is.
Please pass the Benadryl!
Dr. Jack Brown
Castle:
You're correct. Good poker players are skilled at interpreting SOME body language. However, the "tells" in poker playing and other similar games are a very narrow slice of the human experience. In the real World there are many more contexts, nuances and shades of gray - and many, many more body language signals.
The word "Hot" means one thing if you're a girl, another if you're chili, and certainly something completely different if you're a meteorologist.
The context is wider and the experiences are much more varied.
Welcome to the real World. Are you going to take the blue pill or the red pill?
Dr. Jack Brown
BobbyG:
Body Language is a true science. The first book published on nonverbal communication was published in 1872. It is certainly not a pseudoscience or based on anecdotes. Most of the scientific research performed and published began in the early 1960s. All fields their are experts and novices. I have over 25 years of experience.
Research bears out that 55 to 80 percent of all human communication is nonverbal. Ignore it at your peril.
Dr. Jack Brown
Whodatrose:
You have an interesting example in your story. It is always important to establish a base-line behavior when you are accessing body language. If you worked around this lady, you obviously knew what was base-line and what was atypical. Anytime you see atypical behavior, one has to always ask why is it there?
In addition, look for other specific behavior - is it congruent or incongruent? One should see three or four gestures/expressions of congruent behavior in a short time period before making a definitive judgement.
Dr. Jack Brown
Dr. Brown,
During an interview I was conducting one time, the interviewee told me she could tell I liked her because my pupils dialated. At the time I dismissed it but I think about that comment quite a bit. Is there any truth to what she said?
I was told that when a guy puts his hands in his pockets, he is subconsciously drawing attention to his male "area". Is that true? and if so, is that a normal "guy thing" to do or is it a good indication that he's a perv? i know a guy who does this (in a public speaking setting) all the time and happen to know he's a perv.
My husband has a 'telltale' cough after every lie, even when he states he is telling the truth. He really doesn't get it!
kristidw:
Thank you for your question.
Pupillary dilation can mean several things, but in the setting you described, it could very well be interpreted as a sign of attraction. If a person is physically attracted to another, their pupils will dilate. This is often missed and difficult to see in bright light.
In this context, a dilation of the pupils is also consistent with the emotional state of having just solved a problem; for example you may be thinking, "This is the perfect person for this job" - and your pupils dilate.
Dr. Jack Brown
LindaSue:
This is a very common question. When a person puts their hands in their pockets, it depends when they do it (what just occurred), what portion of the hand is in the pockets, and several other things.
If his thumbs are hooked on his belt loop or the front pockets and his fingers are pointed to his groin, this is an indication that he wants to be viewed at that moment as virile being & sexually dominant. This is also true with women, but is less common.
If you ask a person a question, and then he puts his hands in his pockets (usually his whole hand), then there is a good chance that there is something that makes him feel pretty uncomfortable and anxious. Common causes for this are deception and introverted personality. Men will often put their hands in their pockets when waiting in line in public places.
Of course, it is possible that as for many common gestures, a person's normal baseline must be taken into account. Putting his hands into his pockets may be simply very common for some individuals.
Dr. Jack Brown
kwo999:
There are many, many signs of deceit, but coughing, clearing one's throat, drinking before answering, a cracking voice, swallowing, a false-chewing (chewing without anything in the mouth), hemming/hawing, stuttering, or repeating the question are all similar responses when being caught in a lie.
You must also remember that these are all better thought of as normal responses to anxiety. It is also possible that people have reasons to be nervous other than deceit. In addition, remember that you should observe three signs/gestures in a short time before you think seriously about drawing a conclusion.
Thanks for your post.
Dr. Jack Brown
Interesting article! I am a licensed massage therapist and know how important recognizing non verbal gestures are. Trust is a large component with therapeutic touch and recognizing gestures such as eye contact, posture, breathing patterns, tone of the voice, speed/pace of the verbiage spoken and rigidity or flaccidity of the body assist with determining appropriate boundaries and tactile pressure. Over time however, intuition plays a role. Would you agree that is plausible? On a side note, when eyes deviate to the left when asked a question does that indicate a lie? Thank you doc!
LVLisa:
Thanks for your post and questions. Yes, "intuition" absolutely plays a role. But what is intuition exactly? All of the factors you mentioned as well as others make up what we call intuition. Because of your specific job and life experience, you are probably significantly more perceptive than the average person.
In addition, women generally speaking are more perceptive than men when it comes to body language. Of course we've all heard of "Woman's Intuition." One of the reasons for this is that the tissue which connects the right side of the brain to the left side (known as the Corpus Callosum) is 10% larger and has 30% more fibers in women than in men. This anatomic tendency also helps women to be better multitaskers.
In general, although it is not absolute, when right-handed people look up to the left, they are visually recalling an event, object, scene, etc. When they look down to the left, they are having what can be thought of as internal dialog (talking to themselves). When people look directly left they are auditory processing conversations with others or sounds, music, etc. These may very well be reversed when the person is left-handed, although it is also not a hard and fast rule. The particular subject of direction of gaze and its correlation to mental processing is an area of on-going research.
When liars lie they rehearse their words, but not their body language - signs other than eye movements should be visible. While trivial lies are easier for a person to hide, the lies with greater consequences are significantly more difficult to mask.
Dr. Jack Brown
Very interesting article! Thank you for sharing some of your insights with us! I am definitely going to pay more attention to the non-verbal cues that others are making around me. Question. If a major company or business wanted to invest in your services, how might they contact you?
Ocean-Runner:
Thank you for your post and compliment.
I can be reached at 702-239-8503 and Jack@BodyLanguageSuccess.com
Dr. Jack Brown
Great article...I'd love to learn more about the uses in business. Like, how can I be sure a potential deal is on the up and up? Or...is the offer real, or are they just testing my company's strength? I think your tutelage can be SO beneficial to business owners like myself! Where can go get training?
Health-Care-Provider:
Thanks. The uses of Body Language in business are almost endless. One of the most common subjects my clients want to learn about is lie detection - which of course can help tremendously in accessing the viability of any potential offer.
What goes hand-in-hand with this is "Sincerity vs. Insincerity" detection. Accessing for sincerity comes earlier in any business deal or personal relationship. If insincerity is detected - you can avoid further associations and you will become a much better judge of potential clients, partners, lovers, friends, etc.
Rapport building skills are also extremely valuable in any business. The vast majority of rapport is nonverbal and there are many do's and don'ts.
With regards to training, I am Las Vegas based, so you or your employees can visit here and enjoy the city, or I would be happy to train on-site wherever your company is located. My contact information is in the above post.
Learning Body Language will be a water-shed event in your professional and personal life.
Dr. Jack Brown