COMMENTARY:

Crowded GOP field makes its case to run against Harry Reid

Sunday, Oct. 11, 2009 | 2 a.m.

Two weeks ago we brought you the first in a series of debates — that one for governor — moderated by Channel 13 anchor/damage control expert Nina Radetich. Today I have a transcript of the to and fro between the GOP U.S. Senate hopefuls at the same venue, the Thomas & Mack Center:

Radetich: Welcome back to the campaign 2010 debate series at the T&M. We have a crowded stage up here. If any of you feel you don’t perform well, call me later. I may be able to help. Politico wrote last week, “The only thing stopping Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid from being rated as the most vulnerable Democratic senator is the quality of his opposition.” We are going to show people today how high the quality is. First question: What qualifies you to take on the Senate majority leader? Let’s start with Sue Lowden.

Lowden: I am qualified because I know Harry Reid the best. He actually was my husband’s lawyer. And we gave him campaign money. But now we don’t like him anymore.

Danny Tarkanian: It’s good to be back in the place where my dad won so many games. My dad is Jerry Tarkanian. Remember him? Now what was the question again?

Sharron Angle: Why am I qualified? Because I was the first to announce. Isn’t that enough?

Mark Amodei: I need a job. Enough said.

Chuck Kozak: Hey, I played hoops, too. And I could school Danny any day of the week.

Bill Parson: I am just happy to be here.

Mike Wiley (pulls out AR-15 rifle): I believe in the Second Amendment. And if there are any black helicopters outside, I will shoot them down. Anyone want to buy this rifle?

Radetich: Mr. Chachas has just arrived.

John Chachas: Sorry I’m late. I had to MapQuest Tropicana Avenue after my chartered flight from JFK landed. Why am I qualified? Because I am smart and have oodles of money.

Radetich: Thank you, gentlemen and ladies. Next question: Harry Reid says he has killed Yucca Mountain. Could you please explain your position?

Amodei: People up North don’t care about it. My only votes will come from up North. So I don’t care about it, either.

Wiley, Kozak and Chachas (in unison): Excuse me, what’s Yucca Mountain?

Lowden: I’ll take that one. Yucca Mountain is a proposed nuclear waste dump I opposed as a state senator in some meaningless vote but have since learned to like after I toured there with my unbiased friend, Bob List.

Angle: There is no tax issue at Yucca Mountain. Therefore, I don’t care. But I may start an initiative to make sure it is not taxed.

Parson: I worked at the Test Site. Does that mean anything to anyone?

Tarkanian: I am opposed to Yucca Mountain. And so is my dad, Jerry Tarkanian. The former coach.

Radetich: Thank you. Next question: Why are you more qualified than your opponents?

Angle: Have I mentioned I was the first to file? And no one can get to the right of me. Just try.

Wiley: OK, I will: I am not just against health care reform — I am against health care. I would like to shoot health care with this rifle.

Parson: My resume is really, really long. It takes up a whole page and more on the Internet. Go see it. Lots of military stuff.

Tarkanian: I could go to my right better than anyone. Just ask my dad, Jerry Tarkanian.

Kozak: I played hoops, too, darn it. And I could dunk. Could you dunk, Danny? I don’t think so.

Radetich: I can’t believe Politico wrote that about the quality of the candidates. This is very impressive so far. Final question: Why should we replace the Senate majority leader if when we are such a small state and have such a powerful person there?

Chachas: If he’s so powerful, how come the country and the state are in such a shambles? Thanks for having me, Nina. I have to get to my home in Ely. Can anyone tell me how to get to Ely?

Lowden: The New York guy is right. What has Harry done for us except get us a lot of pork? And who would you rather see on “Meet the Press” on Sunday: Harry or me? I rest my case.

Amodei: It’s time for a change.

Kozak, Parson and Wiley: Yeah. What he said.

Tarkanian: My dad, Jerry Tarkanian, was a powerful person for many years. I know about power. He was the coach.

Radetich: That’s all the time we have. What a memorable, enlightening debate. Sen. Reid has his work cut out for him against this field.

Discussion: 13 comments so far…

By fremmasmind

10/11/09 at 5:49 a.m.

Suggest removal

where's the humor?
By ucsb1990

10/11/09 at 6:43 a.m.

Suggest removal

"Where's the humor?" Did you read the same editorial I just read? Ralston was in fine form on this one. I bet even Mayor Goodman enjoyed it.
By marianevans

10/11/09 at 7:13 a.m.

Suggest removal

Needs more cowbell.
By mikegino

10/11/09 at 10:37 a.m.

Suggest removal

Jon you forgot to add that Harry will make one of his notorious off-the-cuff intemperate comments about Lowden during the campaign that will result in her winning by a landslide.
By mred

10/11/09 at 11:02 a.m.

Suggest removal

Radishtop is the joke, and so is CH 13, with their phoney "skyes" with kxnt.

(What are your your listeners saying about....? Yet the local blowhard hosts: Stock or Hendrickson will give their opinion, since they didn't take any calls on the issue anyway.)

What a joke, and so are these candidates, baby-tark a 3 time lozzzzer, Louddung, against breast cancer research, Chacktus, a wall street sharpy, Angle, in bed with Enswine and Gibbans,
Alamode, in bed with miners. I just gave them all $100 so they can tear each other apart.
By LarryVegas

10/11/09 at 1:06 p.m.

Suggest removal

Here's mred...

Trying to limit free speech...

But he is sure good at name calling...

If mred does not agree with someone's political beliefs, he does a supreme job of labeling and name calling...
By LarryVegas

10/11/09 at 4:28 p.m.

Suggest removal

I kinda like Sue Lowden. She has spunk and comes highly recommended by the burrito bandito.
By JohnChachas

10/11/09 at 8:59 p.m.

Suggest removal

I personally thought it was clever and funny...

Jon, thanks for having me on the show. We'll gladly have you for a barbeque in Ely, if you want to make the drive. It's 4 hours to the North. No airport, sorry.
By ucsb1990

10/11/09 at 10:18 p.m.

Suggest removal

If that last comment really was by John Chachas (which it presumably was), then I have to give the man credit for being a good sport.

There's no doubt that Mr. Chachas is very intelligent and capable. The question is whether or not he can convince Nevada voters that he can catch up on the issues that are important to us in a very short period of time. He has his work cut out for him.
By afveteran

10/12/09 at 10:17 p.m.

Suggest removal

Sorry attempt at humor from a closet Marxist.
By driller

10/19/09 at 12:48 p.m.

Suggest removal

Who's that Wiley guy? I like his style. If it's Liberal and it moves, SHOOT IT!
By driller

10/19/09 at 1 p.m.

Suggest removal

Anyone see Harry's new advertisement where he claims his wife found a bomb under his station wagon in 1980 something? Claims the mob put a hit on him. (Probably was them angry gray haired mob of tea baggers) I think it's so cool to have a wife who regularly gets down on the ground and checks for bombs. They don't make 'em like that anymore!

I have looked everywhere and asked about everyone I know, but nobody can verify that story. All I hear is, "Bomb? What bomb?" Has Harry been smokin' that wacky tabackie? You would think that the cops would know something about a bomb or an attempted murder.
By foreveryoung

10/20/09 at 9:31 a.m.

Suggest removal

Did Nina Ratatooie-titch sneak the questions to the candidates bfore the debate?

I ask, somebody investigate Channel 13 and corrupt Jim Prather and Rattatooie-titch.