Proper manners a way to brighten everyone’s day

By Judy Miller Gerard (contact)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009 | 3:07 p.m.

Judy Miller Gerard

Recently I wrote about some things we each can do to make our own world, and the world around us, a better place to be in terms of economic and physical comforts. Let's consider what we each can do to make our world a kinder, gentler place to share.

This leads me to thinking about courtesy, a key element in such a quest. The very phrase "kinder, gentler world" has a poetic ring to it, but the manifestation of it is very much a down-to-earth endeavor. It is based on our actual practice of being thoughtful of others in our words and actions and may involve putting another person's need before our own.

I believe we all have a basic, instinctual understanding of what courtesy is about and a pretty good idea of how to practice it in our lives, although in recent years we have sort of drifted away from it. We have become more and more a world whose mantra is "it's all about me and what I want when I want it," so turning our attention from ourselves to another person and putting them first does not readily come to mind.

The dictionary explanation of courtesy is about respect and consideration toward others, expressed in our words and actions as we meet an obvious need or simply because it is a gracious thing to do. Whatever may inspire our action, it will bring pleasure to the receiver and to the donor. Here are some small examples of courtesy that any one of us can practice anywhere, anytime. I hope you will come up with some of your own to add to the list.

• Opening a door for another person.
• Offering your seat on a train or bus, or allowing someone to go ahead of you in a waiting line.
• Greeting another person with a smile and a "good "morning, "good afternoon" or "hi." You don't have to stop or even pause in your walk to do this.
• Turning off your cell phone when you are in a social situation, unless you're expecting a call of an urgent nature. In that case, set your phone on vibrate, and when the call comes, leave the group to have the conversation.
• Thanking someone who does something helpful for you. If they are thanking you, respond with an acknowledgement such as "you're welcome" or "I'm glad to help." I notice many people now say, "Not a problem."
• Listening attentively and without interruption when someone is speaking to you.
• Letting another person know you care about them and are thinking of their well-being.

Our world has become more impersonal, especially in our daily comings and goings, so that all too often we find ourselves ignoring others or not even seeing them. We are sometimes so focused on ourselves that we have no awareness of those around us or opportunities for courtesy. It is especially sad that this is true of many homes and the way family members interact, with little or no courtesy or kindness toward one another.

Being courteous to people in your life will make them feel good and perhaps cheer them up for the day, and it will make you stand a little taller and feel better about yourself because you've done something nice for someone else and, incidentally, for yourself.

Judy Miller Gerard is a Henderson senior and can be reached c/o the Home News, 2275 Corporate Circle, Third Floor, Henderson, NV 89074; by fax at 434-3527 or e-mail at editor@hbcpub.com.