Lon Kruger: Why boring is better than bold

By Ron Kantowski

Monday, Nov. 10, 2008 | 2 a.m.

Lon Kruger is an outstanding basketball coach. He’s also kind of boring.

He’d be the first to tell you that.

Not the part about being an outstanding basketball coach. The part about being boring.

Nobody around here, with the possible exception of local sportswriters who’d give $20 — OK, maybe $5 — to hear the UNLV basketball coach say something interesting, is complaining.

Remember Bill Bayno? He was far from boring. He also was far from being an outstanding basketball coach.

As I said, nobody’s complaining.

Lon Kruger was born and raised in Kansas. Well, there you have it.

If he were a baseball player — and he almost was — he’d be a middle reliever.

If he were a classroom project, he’d be a term paper on photosynthesis.

If he were a president, he’d be Millard Fillmore.

The other day, I received a copy of Kruger’s book “The Xs & Os of Success: A Playbook for Leaders in Business and Life.” It wasn’t like I was on the mailing list of preferred customers. I just happened to bump into one of the authors — D.J. Allen, not Kruger — at the Thomas & Mack Center on the day the book came out.

A couple of other media types were there. They received free copies of the book (I don’t know what they will do with theirs, but the Sun’s will be sold in our annual Christmas auction to benefit the Sun Camp Fund). D.J. Allen is familiar with the local press. He knows we’d never cough up the $19.95, unless the book also came with a 12-pack of beer and a cheap cigar.

Anyway, I started flipping through the book, because although I have never been a leader in business or in life, you never know when the bottom’s gonna fall out of the newspaper business and then what would I do?

I flipped right to page 140 — the chapter called “If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say.” It was so considerate of coach to dedicate an entire chapter to guys like me.

Actually, it was more like three pages. Because any more than that, and he’d lose us like a set of car keys after a long night of playing poker at a buddy’s house when his wife was away visiting her parents. Kruger knew this.

“I like speaking with members of the media and I have a great amount of respect for what they do ...”

That’s how the chapter begins.

See, I told you the man was a genius.

“If it wasn’t for the interest from the media, which represents the general public’s interest, we would not be blessed to enjoy the lifestyle that we have. That being said, I’m sure I drive some members of the press a little insane. Why? Because they view me as boring. As just a good ol’ boy from Silver Lake, Kansas, shooting out nothing but vanilla quote after vanilla quote making their job a little more difficult.”

A little more difficult? Coach, if it wasn’t for your postgame press conferences, I would have never split those atoms.

Kruger then rehashes one of his more riveting quotes from the 2006-07 Sweet 16 season.

“Obviously, we need to get better. We have to keep working hard every day in practice to improve as a team. We’re playing solidly on defense most of the time; however, we have to be aggressive and get after it the entire 40 minutes.”

Where’s my atom splitter?

“OK, I will admit most readers probably begin to gloss over those types of statements in the morning paper after a while ...”

But Kruger goes on to explain his wing-tip-shoes approach to public speaking.

First, he said he truly believes what he says — that the Rebels have to be more aggressive on defense, or at least work hard in practice every day.

Second, he said he believes in protecting his players, their families and the university.

That’s why he is careful about what he says and sprinkles every quote with vanilla extract. He says you’d be surprised how hard players work on their defense when they’re not gossiping about what coach said about them in the morning paper.

In the book, Kruger says he enjoys colorful quotes and sound bites as much as the next guy. Who knew?

“However, Dad taught us the important thing about humor. It usually comes at someone else’s expense.”

It’s official: Lon Kruger is actually Ward Cleaver. The coaching gig is just a disguise to protect his true identity.

Kruger goes on to say there are young, impressionable people who read the papers. (But not enough of them. Most young, impressionable people who could be reading newspapers are playing video games, listening to Metallica MP3s on their iPods or texting their friends.)

For the record, Kruger didn’t say the part in parentheses. You probably figured that out.

“When it comes to the media, I will gladly take the public wrath of a journalist who is frustrated with my blandness before ever coming close to insulting or embarrassing one of our players through a media outlet. It’s a simple guideline. We want to treat our players as I would want my own son to be treated. That’s just the way Dad taught us to do it.”

My dad was like that, too. That’s why I chose not to have kids.

In all seriousness, after reading those three pages in his book, I think I have a better understanding of Kruger and why he says the things he does. And why he keeps the other ones to himself. Likewise, I have a new appreciation for middle relief pitchers, the way plants use energy from sunlight to make sugar, and chief executives with names like accountants.

In fact, just as soon as I’m done writing, I’m going to start working on my defense.