Ropes, reins, joy, pain

By Ron Kantowski

Saturday, Nov. 8, 2008 | 2 a.m.

Paulo Crimber sat on a bull.

Paulo Crimber had a big spill.

Actually he had a lot of big spills — four in a nine-month period on the Built Ford Tough Professional Bull Riders circuit.

Now all the king’s horses and all the king’s men — not to mention his doctors — are having trouble putting Paulo back together again.

He’s not riding in the PBR finals, which run through Sunday at the Thomas & Mack Center.

In fact, he may never ride again.

I came across Crimber’s name while scanning the standings before the finals. His was the only one that had an asterisk beside it.

“See Agent,” it said.

Actually, it said “See Injuries,” in bright red letters.

“See Agent” is what it says on the “Arrivals” screen at the airport when a plane goes down.

Crimber only feels like he’s been in a plane crash after suffering a series of injuries that can be described only as cruel and unusual punishment, even in a sport that specializes in it.

• Concussion with a loss of consciousness.

• Three broken teeth.

• Complex laceration of both lips.

• Twisted right knee.

• Torn knee cartilage.

• Fractured neck vertebra.

• Broken right collarbone.

• Broken ribs.

• Another fractured neck vertebra.

That’s right — Crimber has broken his neck twice in one year.

The first time was in St. Louis, on a bull named Eddie Munster, in February. (They don’t have bulls named “Lily” or “Marilyn” in the PBR.)

That second time was in Orlando, Fla., on a bull named Roughneck, of all things, in June.

“Paulo Crimber is recuperating from a broken neck and is progressing as expected,” it said on the official PBR injury report.

I.e., painfully.

“There will be no further medical updates for six months unless there is a change in his status.”

But there was a change in his status on Aug. 7. The news was both encouraging and discouraging.

“Paulo Crimber was taken out of the neck brace that he has been required to wear since the surgery ... (but) his status for returning to bull riding remains doubtful.”

Return ... doubtful.

Maybe those are ominous words for a ballplayer. For a bull rider, they are more like a call to arms. A challenge. Something at which to spit a pinch of smokeless tobacco. Get me a roll of athletic tape and one of those hockey helmets, I’ll be all right.

Crimber, like a goodly percentage of the top PBR riders, was raised in Brazil. It’s a little hard to understand him when he speaks — not because he grew up in Brazil, where they speak Portuguese; but because he now lives in Texas, where they speak Texan.

He’s married with children, and his wife, Maria, is expecting another one soon. So while there’s never a good time to break one’s neck — twice — this might be among the worst.

That’s why Crimber made the trip to Las Vegas for the finals. Being around the guys is better than sitting around the house waiting for the next visit to the doctor. Besides, maybe he can meet somebody on the other side of the chutes, somebody who might help him get started with another career — you know, just in case the doc says it’s three strikes, or eight seconds, or whatever they tell bull riders who break the same bone in their neck twice in the same year when they’ve got a family to provide for.

Some guys might think Crimber got a bum steer — er, rank bull, especially since he had been riding so well. He has just one career victory in 166 tour events but last year became the 13th rider in PBR history to eclipse $1 million in career earnings.

Crimber is a religious person. He said the Lord works in mysterious ways. Up to now, nobody thought it might be from the back end of a 1,500-pound beast with bad intentions. But then how else do you explain lightning striking his C1 vertebra twice in four months?

“Maybe this was just his way of showing me he’s still in control,” Crimber said.

So now he waits — waits for those tiny but life-sustaining bones in his neck to fuse and heal, waits for the doctor to make a decision, waits for another sign from a higher authority than the bull riding judges.

“I want to get back on the bull again,” he said.

Better get that CT scan equipment back here, pronto. Another head examination is being called for.

This is how bull riders operate. This is how they are wired. This is how they roll — er, ride.

You fall off the horse, you get back on.

You get bucked off the bull, you get back on.

At least after they remove the neck brace.