Gov. Jim Gibbons’ inner circle fawning over a frazzled boss

By Jon Ralston (contact)

Wednesday, May 14, 2008 | 2:01 a.m.

“I read the news today, oh, boy ...”

— The Beatles, 1967

A day in the life of Jim Gibbons:

The governor trudges into his office, a newspaper under his arm, looking slightly ashen. His chief of staff, Mike Dayton, and chief operating officer, Dianne Cornwall, are waiting. Gibbons waves the newspaper at them and says, “Why can’t they print any of the good stuff? It’s always so slanted. Sometimes I wonder if the Democrats are paying them to write them.”

“Good one, Boss,” Dayton says. “I liked it even better than Mike,” Cornwall intones.

Gibbons looks puzzled and retorts, “What was so funny?”

The governor’s secretary wanders in. “You have some messages, Governor.”

Gibbons looks up and says, “What now?”

His secretary reads from the first pink piece of paper: “Dawn called again. She wanted to know if she had the correct recollection of that thing that happened on the cruise with the Trepps. Something about a briefcase. She asked if you’d call her ASAP.”

Gibbons shakes his head. “What else?” he says, sighing.

“That former state chairman, John Mason, called. Again. Says he has moved the deadline back until 5 p.m. today or he’s going public with his information about your SAGE chairman, Bruce James. Says this really is your last chance. And he means it this time.”

Gibbons shakes his head and says, “What do you think we should do?”

Cornwall responds in a raised voice, “Tell him you have two words for him, Governor. Let him figure it out.” Dayton adds, “Yeah. What she said, Governor.”

“Any other messages?” Gibbons says.

His secretary nods. “One more, Governor,” she says. “Bill Raggio called. Wanted to know if you got the talking points he sent over for the meeting with Speaker Buckley and Sen. Horsford.”

Gibbons shuffles papers on his desk, finds one and looks at it. “Yes,” he answers. “I have it right here. Bill wants me to patronize them and make no commitments of any kind. As always, sage advice.”

Dayton smiles and says, “I’m not sure using the word ‘sage’ is a good idea these days, Governor.”

“Huh?” Gibbons says.

“You know,” Dayton answers. “The SAGE Commission. Bruce James. He’s chairman. Oh, never mind.”

Cornwall jumps in: “I didn’t think it was funny either, Governor,” she says, sneering at Dayton.

A knock comes on the door. It is the budget director, Andrew Clinger.

“Why don’t I think this is good news?” the governor says.

“It’s not,” Clinger says. “The gaming numbers are down even more than we thought. We are going to have to make more cuts.”

Finally, Gibbons smiles. “And you say that’s not good news?”

“Well, Sir,” Clinger responds. “We are probably going to have to cut some really needed services this time. And road projects in Southern Nevada may not get done for years now.”

“Oh, boo hoo,” Gibbons says. “Bob Beers tells me there is plenty to cut, and I trust him. And why do I care what happens in the South? My base is here in the North. That’s what I have to worry about.”

Clinger leaves as the governor’s secretary returns. “Sheldon Adelson on the dedicated line, Governor.”

Gibbons scurries to his desk and grabs the red phone. “Yes, Sheldon,” he says, “what can I do for you? Yes, I signed the petitions. Yes, all three, Sheldon. Yes. Yes, I agreed to do commercials for all of them. Yes. Yes, you are right on diverting room taxes and the two-thirds to raise taxes by initiative. Yes. Yes, I love you, too.”

Gibbons shakes his head again.

Cornwall jumps in and says, “How about the hep C problem down in Vegas? They have 77 new cases now. That’s a lot more.”

The governor looks at her skeptically and replies, “Dianne, there are 2 million people down there. Seventy-seven out of 2 million? I wouldn’t call that a crisis. Let’s not go overboard. Besides, my medical advisers tell me it’s still no big deal. Let the legislators say what they want about it — it’s their problem.”

Dayton interjects, “Speaking of the Legislature, Governor, what about a date for that special session for the cuts and repealing those raises for state employees and teachers?”

Gibbons’ face brightens. “Let’s do it on July 3,” he says, a twinkle in his eye. “That will ensure they are really angry and that it lasts only one day. They might even try to raise taxes. How good would that be for us?”

The secretary comes in again, not looking happy. “It’s the media, Governor,” she says. “They want to talk about the divorce. And the Mason-James thing. And how the Democrats say you are insensitive.”

Gibbons shakes his head.

Jon Ralston hosts the news discussion program “Face to Face With Jon Ralston” on Las Vegas ONE and publishes the daily e-mail newsletter “RalstonFlash.com.” His column for the Las Vegas Sun appears Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. Ralston can be reached at 870-7997 or at ralston@vegas.com.