A first year in Las Vegas, one update at a time

By Joe Brown (contact)

Thursday, Dec. 4, 2008 | 2 a.m.

With the new year — and my first anniversary of moving to Las Vegas — swiftly approaching, I scrolled back through the past year of status updates on my Facebook page. What I found was a stream of haiku-like impressions from 2008, from driving all night to get here by New Year’s Eve, through days of discovery, despair and delight as I adjusted by increments to living and working in this strange and wonderful place.

December 2007

Joe ... is home on the range.

January 2008

Joe ... is weirdly obsessed with Celine Dion right now ... is digging Merle Haggard and waiting for the desert rain ... had dinner at a casino ... saw his favorite porn star at the grocery store ... wishes he could get those four “American Idol” hours back ... is covering the Nevada caucuses today at a casino ... is having tea with the Red Hat Ladies ... just may have made a friend today ... is seeing more of his friends and family in Vegas than anywhere else.

February

Joe... just talked to Cher on the phone. I love my job ... can’t wait for his sister to get here.

March

Joe ... really enjoyed Barry Manilow’s return to Vegas tonight.

April

Joe... just saw “Ka” from inside out ... is listening over and over to The Weepies’ new album.

May

Joe ... is acclimating ... was at the Editor & Publisher “EPpy” Awards, where the Las Vegas Sun was named Best Overall Newspaper Web Site ... is now a member of the 108-degree club ... is voting Archuleta ... ... saw “Sex and the City” last night; off to a friend’s hockey game tonight. That means I’m having a life, right?

June

Joe ... has resorted to putting ChapStick on his eyelids (TMI, I know) ... took a look around this morning ... and kinda liked what he saw ... sampled a BBQ-flavored margarita and swam at night in a windstorm ... finally went to Rehab — Rehab the giant, outdoor, mostly naked, drunken party at the Hard Rock, that is ... can take the heat ... talked to a comedian, a rock icon, an air guitarist and is seeing “Phantom,” all in a day’s work ... has been in Las Vegas for six months!

July

Joe ... is headed out, now that it’s cooled down to a reasonable 105 degrees at 7 p.m. ... is thrilled about his first desert monsoon ... is an Exile on Green Valley Parkway.

August

Joe ... learned his Wii Fit age today. Let’s not speak of it again ... is spending Sunday at Liberace’s place ... is finally unpacked. Only took eight months! ... just saw “Sgt. Pepper” performed live.

September

Joe ... felt for the first time that he really lives here ... visited his Buffalo hometown today — without leaving Las Vegas ... thinks 96 degrees is cool now.

October

Joe ... is a proud tolerated American ... would never call Audrina “dude.” And Heidi? Google “Stockholm syndrome” ... is against going negative from now on — until Nov. 5 ... is 50, dammit! ... wonders: Will Criss Angel make us “Believe” tonight? ... was stunned (and bored) into disbelief.

November

Joe ... is going to sink into a long, hot marathon of “Real Housewives of Atlanta” ... is happy Green Valley has gone orange, green and gold ... might as well be living in a capsule on the moon ... is soaking up the silver light and the sound of desert rain ...