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November 10, 2009

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Vegas hardly a bachelor’s paradise, man finds

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Sam Morris

UNLV law professor Peter Reilly is single and looking in Las Vegas. Single men outnumber single women by 30,000 in the city, according to U.S. Census Bureau statistics.

Friday, Aug. 22, 2008 | 2 a.m.

Peter Reilly can’t seem to meet the right woman, he says, sipping tap water at a local pub where he occasionally brings dates.

Today he’s alone, looking out over the oak bar, an eligible bachelor with a good job and little baggage.

His criterion for a Mrs. isn’t too strict: just someone who wants to raise a family.

It’s been two years of bad dates and short-term relationships. This is not what he expected when he moved here from Topeka, Kan., to become a UNLV law professor.

“It felt like I needed a bigger city,” Reilly, 42, says. “It’s Vegas. I figured Vegas has a lot going on. That was a big draw.”

Certainly it is a place where single women seemingly wait in every club and lurk in every casino. But as Reilly discovered, many of them are tourists, here only briefly.

So he’s still single. And looking.

He’s not alone. Single men outnumber single women in Las Vegas by 30,000, according to U.S. Census Bureau statistics. The trend also holds in the Los Angeles area, with nearly 90,000 more single men than women. That’s the opposite of New York City, which has 210,000 more single women than men.

Experts give two explanations for the imbalance.

Male-dominated career fields — think construction — have thrived in Las Vegas. Also, men are more likely to chase economic opportunity in new cities, while women tend to stay near family.

None of this matters to Reilly when he shows up for dates with women who admit they lied about their age or posted decade-old photos on the Internet.

Heidi Keller, president of Get Out, a Las Vegas activity club, knows about the demographic differential. The odds are not good for a fella in Las Vegas.

“It’s better for women,” she says with a laugh. “But I think it’s harder to meet people here, period. If you know your next-door neighbor, that can be rare. People are friendly. But it takes some time to meet them.”

Reilly, a good-looking and successful man who has never married, puts in the time and effort. He has been on blind dates set up by friends, dated women he met at Toastmasters. Others he connected with on the Internet.

He even hired a dating service aimed at professionals.

“It sounds pathetic,” he says. “All these vehicles.”

One woman wanted only advice on getting into law school. Another talked endlessly about her ex. He has met nice people. It’s just that nothing has clicked. Nobody wants a serious commitment.

National experts say part of the blame can be laid to the image of decadent and sinful Las Vegas and the people it attracts. They assume that single men in Las Vegas just aren’t good catches.

“Just the saying, ‘What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ is great, but not so great for women looking for a relationship,” says April Masini, the author of the popular “Ask April” dating advice column. “When you mention Las Vegas the first thing that comes to mind is gambling and prostitution. It’s not the image of eligible men. Or at least not the men you want to marry.”

Several UNLV professors said they didn’t feel qualified to comment on the demographics or the dating scene.

Their main research has been on prostitution.

Reilly is not a gambler. Nor does he solicit the illicit.

“All I need is one good person,” he says.

With that, he’s headed off to look some more.

Discussion: 8 comments so far…

  1. Wow great article. I feel this guy's pain. New York City eh - so it's not only the pizza that's better there?

  2. Sipping (free) tap water in a bar he sometimes brings his dates? He is in the wrong place for the type of lady he wants or he is hoping for something above his pay grade

  3. Comes to Vegas to look for a wife? R U Kidding me? Land of hookers, hoes and gold diggers - ya he's really gonna find the kind of woman he's looking to marry and make babies with in Vegas - buyer beware.

  4. Maybe the local women are turned off that he's lived here two years but he still calls the town "Vegas."

  5. Close your eyes and imagine:
    You are an attractive, educated male. You are on a date - with a girlfriend, your wife or newly met person. As you drive down the road one billboard after another appears- you can't avoid seeing them.

    On the billboards are full color, larger than life, half naked impossibly handsome, airbrushed images of young men; mens muscular bare rear ends, chests, other parts -barely covered- all inviting your woman to partake in her choice of these HOT BODIES.

    Then you walk down the strip - even there on truck billboards are the same sorts of images - all inviting your woman to get down with the hottest men on earth.

    Now how long would you stay in Las Vegas?

  6. And there are just as many, if not more, billboards of larger than life, half-naked, impossibly beautiful, airbrushed woman with their asses exposed more than (but just barely) their chests..........so what's your point? This guy just picked the wrong place if he is seriously looking for the 'girl next door' to bring home to meet the folks..........or at least he has certainly lessened his odds. Not saying that's ALL he's gonna find out here but he'd have way better odds of meeting a 'nice' girl if he gets in his car and starts heading toward the midwest.

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