Thursday, Feb. 8, 2007 | 7:08 a.m.
You might think car dealers are in the business of selling cars. Yes, but not just.
They are also in the business of selling checkups, tuneups and fix-ups. They want people to come back for every rattle and ding. That's the way to get profits up.
So a car dealers' convention is not just workshops on closing deals; there's also a whole bunch of stuff to buy. If you passed through the gates at the Las Vegas Convention Center and into the expo of the National Automobile Dealers Association on Tuesday, you would see a world of whirling (but dry) car washes, fluid swappers, computer systems, tools, direct mail advertisers and inflatable whatsits.
And there are contractors like Dent Wizard, a company that employs technicians around the country, men skilled with a contraption that looks like a plastic-tipped lawn-sprinkler key, which they jimmy behind body panels to push out dents. And then there's the detail work, tapping away with plastic-covered hammer and Teflon punch.
Although it will do work for the individual consumer, Dent Wizard does most of its business sending its technicians out to auto auctions or into car dealers for promotions. And, in case of emergency, it has "the world's largest dedicated hail recovery team," which numbers in the hundreds.
"You might have 5,000 Chryslers that are stuck on a rail head and get hit," says Kevin Lontz, the company's western managing director. "They call us."
Hail, most common in the summertime hail belt that stretches from Texas to the Northeast, is great for producing quarter ($129) and golf ball ($159) sized dents.
"Come on baby, hail," says Steve Rynar, director of elite operations. "We like it."
Good luck insurance
A hole in one. A golf ball hit perfectly, with dead aim and just enough oomph, and then doing the incredible and dropping into a small cup over 100 yards away.
What a piece of horrible, stinking, black-cat-breaking-a-mirror bad luck.
At least, it is if you are the guy who bet a new car that no one could do it.
Dolt, you should have bought insurance. There are several firms out there that will insure against the good fortune of players in car dealers' tournaments. For instance, there's Hole-in-One U.S.A., a four-person company out of Reno, which will pay you back if you lose your Lexus.
The odds, they say, are that only about one in 20 tournaments see a car won, enough that a dealer ought to take it seriously. Most dealers put up a $30,000 car, but Hole-in-One will insure cars up to $100,000, with the more expensive cars usually put up by charities. When car dealers put up pricey cars, they're likely to put them on two-year leases, says Denise Messer, the company's No. 3.
The other three people in the company are all golfers. The president is scratch, the vice president plays in tournaments and the regional manager dates a pro. Messer played her first round in October.
"You don't have to play golf to work for the company," she says.
Product 1: Everything must go
Ready for moonlight markdown mania, a red-hot clear-the-lot event, or perhaps looking forward to a Labor Day sell-a-thon?
Then you need a sale in a box, from Sale-in-a-Box of Oxnard, Calif. (motto: Atmosphere Changes Attitudes) Banners, balloons, pennant strings, posters and more. Choose from 50 coordinated themes, including Save Big Bucks on Trucks and Rodeo Roundup Dealin' Days. The colors, the gaiety, the implied savings! Who could resist?
"We all buy more during what we perceive as a sale," says Denise Mae Scattergood, national operations manager.
And don't feel limited by seasons or geography. Sale-in-a-Box sells Sizzling Summer Sales Event stuff to a New York car dealer in the middle of winter, and Scattergood says she's got a British dealer interested in putting on a Presidents Day Salute to Savings. He figures the picture of Mount Rushmore will attract attention.
"It's all in the spin," says Scattergood, who is expanding the company into furniture and mattress sales.
The basic package - "ultimate event" - sells for $995. Upgrade to the "maximum impact," which includes radio and television ads and guys holding signs, for $4,995.
Shipping and helium not included.
Product 2: Look! Up in the air!
It's a blimp, advertising your local auto dealer. But there's no reason it couldn't advertise your kid's birthday, your political beliefs or your feelings about your neighbor. The small 15-foot model is yours for only $1,495, but why not buy a blimp that will be the envy of zeppelin fans: a 26-foot beauty that can be seen from 3 miles away - $2,995.
Customize it with colored tail fins ($125), a multicolor logo (requires quote), an internal lighting system ($300) and 9-foot banner, for full expression of your feelings ($300, plus $95 for lettering).
From California Blimps, californiablimps.com.
Shipping and helium not included.
Overheard
"What? Manual labor? I thought you just squirt it on and it comes off."
- Wachovia salesman swapping promo swag for a Wynn salesman's headlight restoration kit.
Spotted
"I'm a gold digger, how about you?"
- Slogan on a tote bag for an unknown company
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