Friday, Dec. 15, 2006 | 7:19 a.m.
The 2006 National Finals Rodeo has ridden into the sunset and with it the abundance of country entertainment that dominates the showrooms this time of year.
Redneck comedians. Steel guitars. Fiddles. Cheatin' songs.
There were more country performers in town than you could shake a stick at - impossible to get to them all - but we made a valiant effort and caught bits of a few shows.
Rodney Carrington
Raunchy comic. If women didn't have breasts, he would barely have an act. Most of his humor can't be repeated in a family newspaper, but some of it was pretty funny stuff if you're out for a few laughs after going to the rodeo and downing a few long necks.
Sample jokes that can be repeated:
"Someone said I ought to try being gay. But I don't think that's somethin' you try. A dish of ice cream, you can taste it; if you don't like it you can walk away with no long-lastin' effect, but I'm almost certain if I tried being gay once it would affect me the rest of my life."
"I've never lost a fight in my life, I'm too quick. I'm gone. (Something's) about to happen, 'Where's Rodney?' Or I take off my clothes. Nobody wants to fight with a nekkid man."
It's an evening of humor about masturbation, breasts, sex organs and passing gas, among a few topics. And song parodies.
Bill Engvall
His comedy is derived from his experiences and observations:
"I love the rodeo, just to people-watch. See who's got big buckles. They've got some big ones, don't they? Bend over and it'll cut 'em in half."
"Video poker. That's my game. You don't even have to know what you're doing. It'll tell you. Just sit and drink and punch the buttons."
"Everything I love is bad for me. Liquor. Nicotine. Liquor. I love bad stuff. I love fried food. Breaded food. I'll eat fried breaded bread. I think they call those hush puppies."
He ridiculed today's illnesses.
"Cell phone elbow? Can you believe that? I called my doctor the other day and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting road rage finger. It just keeps popping up.' "
One of his famous bits proposes hanging signs on stupid people.
" 'Are you getting your car towed?' 'No we're mating it, hope to get a Mini-Cooper. Heeeere's your sign.' "
Brooks & Dunn
It was a precious metal evening, gold and platinum, at the Hilton. A real crowd pleaser. Kix Brooks and Ronnie Dunn have been winning awards ever since they joined forces in 1991.
They performed a lot of their hits from the distant past, as well as a lot of more recent hits, such as the gospel like "Believe," the 2006 Country Music Award Single of the Year and Academy of Country Music Song of the Year.
Other gems: "Neon Moon," "Rock My World (Little Country Girl)," "Ain't Nothing 'Bout You," "Can't Take the Honky Tonk Out of the Girl," "Boot Scootin' Boogie" and "My Maria."
Vince Gill
Another night of metals, but Gill included brass. Hardly ever hear a country band with a brass section - alto and tenor saxophones, trombones to go along with the steel guitar.
A 17-piece orchestra, if you include Gill, who plays guitar, mandolin and fiddle, and sings country, bluegrass and rock.
While he thrilled the crowd with past hits - such as "One More Last Chance" - he focused on his latest album, "These Days," an ambitious four-CD collection of 43 new songs. Released in October, the album was certified gold within five weeks of its release.
Gill, also winner of numerous awards, has been nominated for a 2007 Grammy for Best Male Country Vocal Performance ("The Reason Why").
Big & Rich
What to make of this controversial odd-ball pair, who some purists say are giving country a bad name.
But they just laugh off the critics and go on doing their thing, turning out such tunes as "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy," "Comin' to Your City" and "8th of November," which has been nominated for a Grammy for Best Short Form Music Video.
Big & Rich (Big Kenny and John Rich) gave a concert and a party broke out - confetti falling from the ceiling; fireworks onstage.
The show felt a little like a late '60s rock concert, during the era of hippie-flower-children-save-the-environment-peace sentiments:
Big was clad in jeans, Sgt. Pepper jacket and a top hat given to him by Vietnam veteran Niles Harris, about whom "8th of November" is loosely based.
Rich wore sunglasses, black Stetson, jeans, Western shirt.
Big telling the audience to remember Darfur (an area of the Sudan where, draught, ethnic fighting and civil war have created one of the worst humanitarian disasters in the world).
Rich telling everyone to either love America or leave it.
Both leading fans in the pledge of allegiance.
Making appearances were Cowboy Troy, the 6-foot 5-inch black rapper.
And Two-Foot Fred, a dwarf who opened the show.
To make sure the fans knew they were genuine country, Big & Rich added Buck Owens' "Act Naturally" to their playlist.
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