THE OPENING LINE

Monday, Aug. 28, 2006 | 7:24 a.m.

All men created equal, but not treated equal

Maybe it's because I'm nearly 50 years old or maybe it's because I have been watching far too many "Saturday Night Live" reruns on Comedy Central. But lately, I have been having more deep thoughts than Jack Handey.

OK, considering that most of them relate to sports, maybe they are just shallow thoughts.

For instance, when I lay awake at night I wonder why:

It's the last one that has me counting sheep, or at least St. Louis Rams, this week. The idea of turning the revelation of the starting quarterback into a production that makes "Phantom of the Opera" look like a high school play is getting out of hand.

Take UNLV. It put out a press release to announce its starting quarterback even though it was a foregone conclusion since oh, the day Rocky Hinds announced he would transfer from USC to UNLV.

As I recall, UNLV put out a press release to announce that, too.

Hey, if coaches want to blow trumpets and set off confetti cannons to announce that Johnny Blue Chip beat out J.C. Talent to earn the right to throw passes into triple coverage, that's their business.

But the next time they tell me that football is a team sport, and how one guy is as important as the next, I may beg to differ.

THIS WEEK'S BEST BET

Idaho State at UNLV, 7 p.m. Saturday, Sam Boyd Stadium

The Division I-AA Bengals are what you would call a soft season-opening opponent. But when you're coming off successive 2-9 seasons, sometimes you've got to squeeze a little Charmin.

TICKETS: $13, $26

ON THE WEB: www.unlvtickets.com

ALSO WORTH A LOOK

Fresno Grizzlies at Las Vegas 51s, 12:05 p.m. Sunday, Cashman Field

I know what you're thinking - another meaningless minor league baseball game in September. But this is the next-to-last one of the season, which should count for something

TICKETS: $7, $12

ON THE WEB: www.ticketmaster.com