Thursday, June 23, 2005 | 9:20 a.m.
Heath Totten was just off his best start of the year when he got the news.
"They gave me a piece of paper -- I didn't even read it," Totten said. "I took it and there was nothing I could do about it."
Totten was one of three Las Vegas 51s caught using banned substances in May. He served a 15-day suspension, and more importantly, was branded with the mark of a cheater in baseball's new era of steroid sensitivity.
But to say Totten's dramatic improvement from 2004 is a result of the use of performance enhancing substances would be unfair to the 51s' friendly starter from east Texas. He's scheduled to start in tonight's game against Sacramento at Cashman Field.
Totten's had other demons he's dealt with, and at age 26, he thinks he's past the problems that led to erratic outings in 2004.
He was 8-11 with Las Vegas last season, garnering a 5.46 ERA while allowing 28 home runs, a 51s franchise record.
"This year I've come in a lot more focused on baseball," Totten said. "Different things were on my mind, taking away from baseball. I was doing stuff, going out and trying to get my mind off other things."
Totten started to find peace on a road trip to Tucson last season. A woman he met at a postgame visit to T.G.I. Friday's turned out to be a good match, and the two were married in February. Their first child is due this winter.
"It's kind of putting stuff in perspective," he said. "It's for me and it's for my family now, too. The concentration level is a lot higher than it has been before."
In 11 games this year, Totten is 6-3 with a 5.05 ERA -- and he's given up eight home runs.
Part of the progress can be attributed to greater focus, and part can be credited to a winter playing for La Guaira in the Venezuelan Winter League.
"On my team we had K-Rod (Anaheim's Francisco Rodriguez) and being able to watch him pitch was unbelievable," Totten said. "On TV's a different story, but while you're out there next to him in the bullpen when he's throwing ... the competition out there is just so much higher."
Still, Totten knows that the spectre of his late spring suspension continues to taint his accomplishments this season, regardless of whether any substances he took, knowingly or not, had any impact on his performance.
"It's kind of just a black spot because they look at it because you're having a good season," he said. "No. It's just every year I've been slow in the first half and strong in the second half and this year I've come out and carried it over. I have a lot more confidence this year, there's a lot more reason behind me to have a good year and try to move somewhere."
Las Vegas manager Jerry Royster said Totten's suspension might actually have been the best thing to happen to him this year.
"Right before that happened he was at a lull. He was able to get some time off, get fresh and come back and pitch," Royster said.
In his first three May starts, Totten gave up six, seven and three runs in eight, three and six innings respectively. It was his May 17 start against Nashville, in which he gave up six hits and one run in eight innings while striking out five, that was one of the team's best starts this season.
Since coming off the suspension, Totten has been remarkably consistent. He's pitched 17 innings, giving up six hits in each of his three outings. He allowed three runs in two games and four in another, and has struck out 15 batters in those three games.
"I wanted to come back and have a strong game and show that it's me pitching," Totten said. "It has to do with my on-the-field and off-the-field stuff and not anything I'm taking or anything like that."
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