Monday, Sept. 27, 2004 | 8:20 a.m.
Forget the rampaging elk.
Beware the clueless camera-toting tourist.
A Yellowstone National Park visitor who walked within 10 feet of a bull elk and snapped a flash photograph of the animal was then gored by said elk.
The elk, perhaps enraged at being caught at close range on his bad side, later charged a National Park Service employee and 12 cars, causing about $15,000 in property damage in addition to a multitude of cuts and bruises to the human victims.
People are funny. We're afraid to leave our bedroom windows open at night even in gated communities with security patrols. But we will walk right up to a wild animal for the perfect Polaroid without giving a single thought as to the fact that it is, well, a wild animal.
The tale reminded me a of a day trip we made to Utah's Antelope Island State Park, which sits in the middle of the Great Salt Lake and has a rather large bison herd.
Wild bison.
We held our breaths as a man convinced his child to walk up to one of the hulking, grazing beasts and pose for a photo. All the while, the family's yappy ankle-biting canine jumped and yipped wildly a few feet from the bison and kid.
Ever seen a bison charge? It doesn't use a Visa.
Thankfully, this one was evidently as dumbfounded as we were by the tourist's brass.
But rampaging elk brought to mind an incident a couple of Sundays ago. While leaving Red Rock Canyon's Spring Mountain Ranch State Park, I passed a carload of tourists who had stopped to look at a group of wild burros standing next to the road.
Now, I am the first to admit they are cute and look more like cartoon characters than wild animals. The dachshund that lives next door looks more wild.
And the signs warning against feeding them because "they will bite" have always seemed more a guise to prevent feedings because such activity lures burros to the road, rather than a real concern for the safety of human fingers.
The visitors were snapping photos of a member of their group who had walked up to the animals. He waved his hands and made noises in what seemed like an attempt to make them move.
Maybe they were bucking for the $10,000 prize on one of those home-video shows.
If burros don't kick, maybe they should start.
Like the little dog facing off against the bison, we seem to have no concept of size.
Most of us are too fat to outrun or outclimb anything. We can't fly. Our teeth are clean but not very pointy. We don't growl, howl or pack a paw big enough to do real damage to anything other than something smaller than ourselves.
Yet, we feel perfectly safe armed only with a camera and a skewed vision of what we are.
Yellowstone has a rule that says people must keep at least 25 yards between themselves and large animals, such as elk and bison. Bears require a 100-yard buffer.
Poor elk. He'll have no more bad antler days. They tranquilized and de-antlered the animal before letting him loose.
Probably would have fared better if they'd taken the camera away from the animal who evidently didn't understand the rules.
Wonder if burros can read?
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