Tuesday, Sept. 21, 2004 | 10:30 a.m.
Ron Kantowski is a Las Vegas Sun sports writer. Reach him at [email protected] or (702) 259-4088.
Somehow, Chris Riley managed to usurp Peter Jacobsen as professional golf's resident buffoon this weekend, with the major difference being that he didn't set out to do it on purpose.
By now, you're probably familiar with what happened at the Ryder Cup, when Riley, the former UNLV standout who plays golf with the hyperactivity of an expectant father (which is exactly what he was until a couple of weeks ago when his wife gave birth to the couple's first child) begged off playing Saturday afternoon after teaming with Tiger Woods for a thrilling best-ball victory over their European counterparts in a morning match.
Riley said he was too emotionally drained to play another 18 holes (or fewer), a comment that invoked the ire of the American captain Hal Sutton and anybody else who wears stars and stripes on his shirt sleeve, such as the national news media.
The golf writers recounted Riley's conversation with Sutton as if it were John Dean's testimony during the Watergate hearings.
"If it was up to me," Riley reportedly told Sutton, "I'm pretty emotionally drained, and let's get a fresh guy out there."
Say what?
"Yes," USA Today's Christine Brennan told her readership of roughly 2.1 million, take or leave a few complimentary copies at the Days Inn out on the interstate, "a professional golfer actually uttered those words in the midst of the most important international event in his sport."
After Sutton dissed Riley as if he were Happy Gilmore -- "Look, man, I hate to use this line, but a 42-year-old fat man in '99 (himself) went five straight matches, so I'm sure that a 30-year-old flat belly that's hyper can go four, can't you?" -- it was grip it and rip it with the "it" being Riley.
"There is no truth to the rumor," Brennan wrote, "that Riley's wife, a former LPGA tour player who just gave birth to their first child, agreed to play with Tiger in place of her exhausted husband."
By Sunday, the only one sticking up for Riley, whose genuine enthusiasm upon being named to the American team was one of the highlights leading up to the Ryder Cup, was Dwaine Knight, his former coach at UNLV.
Knight, who followed his charge around the course in Michigan, said if the 17th fairway had walls, Riley would have been bouncing off them. Knight said Riley was having trouble breathing, which, if he were built like Craig Stadler, you could almost understand.
But could it be possible that the "emotionally drained" excuse was simply a way for Riley, who was obviously in awe of his surroundings and coming off the high of a memorable victory that would be difficult to duplicate, to step aside and give one of his more heralded teammates a turn in the spotlight?
Well, I for one think so.
But when -- if ever -- the criticism subsides, it may be that Riley will have done duffers everywhere a huge favor.
The next time I'm 1-down to my wife and that damn windmill blade at the local putt-putt won't stop spinning, I think I'll just tell her I'm too emotionally drained to continue.
With more than 200,000 discounted/free tickets to Saturday's NASCAR Craftsman Trucks/Champ Car World Series doubleheader supposedly floating around the valley like pollen during springtime, you would think anybody who wanted one would have one by now.
But it's not like they are being handed out like S&H Green Stamps or, to use a more modern analogy, escort service handbills on the Strip.
In a savvy move to boost the crowd to last year's truck race, Las Vegas Motor Speedway sold huge blocks of tickets to local businesses to use as they please. For instance, I've heard or seen ads stating that anybody who test drives a Toyota, signs up for the slot club at the Sahara between now and Saturday or purchases a certain engine additive at Pep Boys gets race tickets.
LVMS officials confirm the tickets are out there, but even they aren't totally certain where to look for them. Maybe that's because the track is still offering a $61.50 super ticket to the races, good for admittance to the new Earnhardt Terrace and Benny Parsons-like access to the garage area. The only other tickets you can purchase through LVMS are $39 plus (entertainment) tax.
Again, that's the official word.
I asked an LVMS employee if the track is unofficially concerned that fans wouldn't be able locate the free tickets in time for the races.
"Well, they didn't have any trouble finding them last year," he said, noting an unexpected crowd of more than 60,000 that caused a major traffic jam.
Back in the day when you could still water your lawn and Lake Mead was still above sea level, they used to hold an unlimited hydroplane race on it (at least when the wind wasn't blowing). And like everything else in boat racing's premier division, it was usually won by Miss Budweiser.
But on Sunday, Miss Bud became a Goodyear Eagle as she's no longer hydroplaning. She ran her last race, with driver Dave Villwock behind the wheel, at San Diego and went out in style with a victory.
Annheuser-Busch decided to end its sponsorship of the boat which began in 1966 after Miss Budweiser's longtime owner Bernie Little died last year. Miss Bud leaves the sport with 141 victories, spread among 17 drivers (18 if you count Louie the Lizard) in its 42-year wake.
Around the horn
Well, at least one guy I know of will be working during the hockey season. Former Las Vegas Thunder play-by-play voice Tim Neverett will serve as analyst on Fox Sports Rocky Mountain's 16-game TV commitment to defending NCAA ice hockey champion University of Denver. Neverett will slide into the play-by-play seat if the NHL lockout is resolved and Dan Kelly, who last year served as voice of the NHL's Columbus Blue Jackets and will reprise that role with the Pioneers, returns to the NHL. ... Once you pop (into the secondary of a 12-man defense) you just can't stop. Mike Pringle, who used to torment the UNLV defense when Cal State Fullerton still played football, became the Canadian Football League's all-time leading rusher (16,178 yards and counting) Saturday with 63 yards in the Edmonton Eskimos' 36-33 overtime loss to Pam Anderson's favorite team, the B.C. Lions. ... It has been said that a football official could call holding on every play if he wanted to, which seems to be the case in the Big Ten, or not at all, which was the case in Saturday's UNLV-Air Force game. Mountain West officials didn't drop the first yellow handkerchief until just 12 seconds remained in the third quarter, which, if you're a Rebels fan, had to be the highlight of the evening. And the MWC officials generally knew what down it was, too, which wasn't the case at Ann Arbor Saturday. The Big Ten zebras, noting San Diego State's failure to roll over and play dead in the second half against Michigan as per terms of the game contract, screwed the Aztecs out of a down as SDSU was moving into position for another missed field goal. Michigan won, 24-21.
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