Columnist Lisa Ferguson: Sun Lite for September 13, 2004

Lisa Ferguson

Monday, Sept. 13, 2004 | 8:25 a.m.

Trivial pursuits

Now that the political parties, er, conventions are over, it's time to check in on some businesses that may have intended to experience a bounce in their own popularity through shameless marketing tied into the race for the White House.

First up: Bass Ale. Makers of the imported British ale last month sponsored a poll of precisely 223 adult patrons of pubs in New York City, where the Republican National Convention was held (it did the same earlier this summer in Boston, backdrop for the Democratic National Convention). No burning foreign policy questions here only ridiculous ones best pondered by the set that considers asinine drinking games sport:

The same question about the women behind the aforementioned men birthed these results: 42.2 percent want to chug-a-lug alongside first lady Laura Bush; followed by Teresa Heinz Kerry (29.6 percent); Edwards' wife, Elizabeth (14.8 percent); Cheney's missus, Lynne (7.6 percent); and "none" (5.8 percent).

Hottie-button issues

More election nonsense comes from online dating service Match.com. It had 900 people take part in its Singles Political Survey; 25 percent of them conceded they'd volunteer to work on a political campaign if it meant they could meet a date there.

Wait, it gets even more vapid: Nearly half of those polled (49 percent) said President Bush is "better looking" than John Kerry (41 percent), while only 10 percent find Independent partier Ralph Nader hot. Kerry was also tagged by 53 percent of the single females polled as likely being the best kisser among the presidential candidates; 45 percent said he'd probably "be the most fun on a date."

My fellow Wear-mericans

We don't recall a write-in campaign to get Dockers on any ballot. Nevertheless, the company has deemed itself the "unofficial shirt" sponsor of this year's presidential election. Reps say Bush and Kerry (sorry, Nader) have been given samples of Dockers-brand shirts sporting "breakthrough Perspiration Guard technology," which the clothing maker claims will keep unsightly sweat marks to a minimum.

Good thing: In yet another superfluous survey this one of 1,029 U.S. adults the company determined that 42 percent of Americans see someone's clothes sopped in sweat and "form a negative perception of that person." Meanwhile, 49 percent of those questioned cited traders on a stock exchange floor; broadcast news reporters (12 percent); college professors (9 percent); and politicians (17 percent) as sweating the most on the job. Apparently, the old adage "Never let 'em see you sweat" applies even when the fate of the free world rests in your clammy palms.