‘Bite’ not exactly newfangled fare

Friday, Sept. 10, 2004 | 9:27 a.m.

This Gothic horror story is afflicted with an overbite -- it's too loud, too pretentious, too vague and has too much music and too little exposition.

"Bite" is a gimmick-laced production that fails to live up to its potential. What should be more fun than a showroom filled with topless female vampires, singing, dancing and cavorting?

This could be a wonderfully campy show, but instead takes itself too seriously, when the premise is so far removed from reality that any attempt at the audience taking it seriously is ludicrous.

The set-up is ripe for comedy. It aches for some good gags and one-liners. This should be a rollicking spoof of the whole blood-sucking genre, but instead it pretends to be something it isn't.

The show tries to be arty while at the same time being sensual, provocative, full of lust. And in fact there are some erotic dance numbers. But in the end the show comes off as being impotent, leaving fans wondering what exactly it was that they just saw.

The plot involves the Lord Vampire and his troupe of sexy, sometimes-topless, fanged sirens searching for the perfect mate, the Queen of the Night. Sort of like holding auditions.

Classic rock 'n' roll songs are spliced together to reveal the story -- among them Steppenwolf's "Born to be Wild," Van Morrison's "Moondance" and Ted Nugent's "Cat Scratch Fever."

The songs are great, although the music is much too loud and often overpowers the words. The choreography is superb.

The hook here is that there is no dialogue -- the story unfolds through the words of the songs. But without dialogue, there are too many gaps in the exposition, leaving the story vague and the audience listless.

And there are some extraneous elements that serve no purpose in furthering the story of "sin, sex and seduction," as it is being billed.

Some of the acrobatics, while exciting, have nothing to do with sin, sex or seduction.

And I'm not sure what purpose it serves for Lord Vampire to perform the age-old trick of shredding and then re-assembling a large piece of paper. There is nothing scary, nor even interesting, about the effect. It certainly doesn't enhance the plot or aid in character development.

If they wanted to demonstrate the vampire's powers they should have had him do something more dramatic than a sleight-of-hand gag -- maybe make him eat fire.

The only time the production quits taking itself too seriously is when volunteers from the audience are brought up onstage to dance. Again, this doesn't enhance the overall production and merely consumes time.

"Bite" has a lot going for it besides the songbook. The set is interesting (if Spartan), the choreography exciting, the costumes delightful and the cast does an excellent job with what it has. But the production is in need of a script to match the talent of the players and the choreographer.