Letter: Republicans need stern training

Friday, June 18, 2004 | 8:45 a.m.

This regards the very humorous and entertaining letter by Virgil A. Sestini that you published on June 4. In his letter criticizing the No Child Left Behind Act, he bemoaned the fact that his dog graduated with honors from training school, but forgets everything he has learned outside of school.

Our family can sympathize, as our little Scottish cairn terrier, too, was also a study in misbehavior. He was totally out of control, greedy, selfish and attempting to viciously attack any dog who was not an elite purebred such as himself. We finally correctly determined that the problem was that he was simply a conservative Republican canine!

But we loved him anyway, just as Mr. Sestini obviously also loves his dog. So we practiced gentle behavior modification, after each misdeed immediately isolating him from our family in a comfortable room with his food and water, leaving him alone for an hour to reflect on the gravity of his misbehavior. And of course making sure that his TV or radio were not accidentally tuned to Fox or to Rush Limbaugh.

We are happy to report to Mr. Sestini and others facing this problem that, after only three weeks, there has been a drastic improvement in our dog's behavior. He is becoming more liberal, even willing to share his toys and be more tolerant of other, less-fortunate dogs. He exhibits generosity of spirit and is much happier with himself and more pleasant to be around each day.

In other words, thankfully, our beloved little "Biscuit' is simply and rapidly becoming -- a liberal Democrat!

RUTH DIMAGGIO