Wednesday, July 21, 2004 | 9:34 a.m.
Ron Kantowski is a Las Vegas Sun sports writer. Reach him at [email protected] or (702) 259-4088.
Thanks to the Sun's new e-mail filtering system, I don't get as many wedding proposals from Russian girls as I used to. On Tuesday, for instance, the only offer I received through cyberspace came from a gentleman who said I could get "a genuine college degree in two weeks."
"Have you ever thought that the only thing stopping you from a great job and better pay was a few letters behind your name? Well, now you can get them. BA. BS. MA. MS. MBA. PhD. Within two weeks. No study required. Completely verifiable! Order yours today. Just call the number below. You'll thank me later.
Unfortunately, I don't have Glynn Cyprien's e-mail address. Or I would have forwarded this fellow's offer directly to him.
Unless you are one of the fortunate few who has managed to erase the Bill Bayno Era at UNLV from your memory bank, you probably remember Cyprien from his days as a Rebels assistant. From here, he went to Oklahoma State to recruit for Eddie Sutton, a pretty good gig that combined with OSU's Final Four appearance last year, got Cyprien's foot in the door at Louisiana-Lafayette, where he was named head coach two months ago.
On Friday, he was told not to let that door hit him in the backside on his way out. Cyprien was fired because he does not possess a bachelor's degree from Texas-San Antonio, as listed on his resume. Just as it was when he coached here.
Should Cyprien have been fired? Absolutely. Not so much for fibbing about his lack of education, but for being out of touch with reality. I mean, where was he in 2001 when George O'Leary was writing fiction on his Notre Dame head football coach application? I guess they didn't get SportsCenter at Club Bayno -- er, Rio.
On a related note, the NCAA Management Council on Tuesday agreed to pursue passage of a passel of proposals from the National Association of Basketball Coaches that focuses on recruiting, retaining, and graduating Division I basketball players.
It didn't recommend anything about graduating Division I basketball coaches.
Maybe that's because when you break it down, possessing a college degree is to coaching basketball what Anna Nicole Smith is to reality TV: Superfluous and unnecessary.
Think about it: Do you think Mike Krzyzewski is a coaching genius because he graduated from West Point? Or because he got his MBA -- Master of Basketball Acumen -- from Bob Knight U.?
Take me, for example. I have a college degree, which means I can almost balance a checkbook and fix nothing around the house. My wife, on the other hand, has an associate degree from John Deere -- she grew up on a farm. But she knows how to balance a checkbook. And last year, while I was trying to recall the highlights of the Louisiana Purchase, she built a patio on the back of our house.
But just in case I apply for a job at Disco Tech, I want to state for the record that I was on the John "Bluto" Blutarski college plan. It took me seven years to finish, mostly because I accepted a full-time job at the local newspaper after my junior year.
When it came time to enter the real word, I remember the editor who would become my boss being impressed that I already had three years' of on-the-job experience at age 24. He did not, however, mention my college degree.
One of the "classes" that helped fulfill my college requirements was a directed studies course called "Baseball in Literature," which quickly evolved into a weekly meeting during which the prof, a diehard Mets fan who even combed his hair like Lee Mazzilli, and I played Strat-O-Matic baseball over beers. With apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer, I aced that class without having to dissect "Casey at the Bat." Which is why a college degree might be more overrated than advanced algebra or the West Coast Offense.
Yet, as long as it's considered a job requirement, anybody in the scholar-athlete business would be wise not to be deceitful about having one.
One of these days, the NCAA will elect George Carlin, or somebody else who has a Ph.D. in Common Sense, as its commissioner, and experience will count more than a degree in basket weaving. Then misdemeanor liars such as George O'Leary and Glynn Cyprien won't have to worry about embellishing their resumes.
Until then, I guess the CBA is always looking for guys to break down film.
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