Columnist Lisa Ferguson: Sun Lite for April 26, 2004

Lisa Ferguson

Monday, April 26, 2004 | 8:20 a.m.

That's some order

If you aren't a devotee of the age-old spring-cleaning ritual, you probably don't give a hoot that April has been designated Tackle Your Clutter Month (no doubt, by some annoyingly organized person with way too much time on his or her yellow rubber-gloved hands).

Esselte, an office supply company based in Stamford, Conn., wants to help the disordered, time-crunched masses get their stuff together. Its organizational experts have devised the "Great 8" program, and claim by following eight, one-minute steps per day, people can save themselves eight hours of time each month while improving their "officiency" at work. Here are the steps in an abbreviated, time-saving summary: "Clear away clutter" by maintaining an "action items" folder on your desk to keep piles at bay. Also, start using desk drawers to file away paperwork. The company cites studies showing that the average employee has 37 hours worth of unfinished work sitting on his/her desk.

Get some color-coded files to cut in half "the time spent file searching." Meanwhile, ditch your paper trail: "There is no need to keep every copy" of e-mails received and other documents, the experts say, so file only first and final versions. Don't forget to label your work; and prioritize tasks by writing scheduled appointment and meeting times in a daily planner. "Always leave 15 minutes between jobs to ensure major projects are allotted adequate time."

Forget spontaneity: "Script" telephone calls in advance of placing them to keep from veering onto other subjects during conversations, and remain standing while chatting to keep the call moving. Finally, "unplug yourself" by turning the phone off and logging off from e-mail while working on other projects. Resist the urge to check messages any other time except while you're between tasks.

Kooky co-workers

Disregard the above tips if, of course, you're counting on your disorganization skills to help you lose your job.

Cindy Cashman has a slew of other suggestions to offer workers hoping to be handed walking papers and gives a nod to the catchphrase of America's new favorite boss, Donald Trump in her new online book, "You're Fired: 17 Things You Can Do to Help Speed Up the Process," which can be downloaded for $7 at www.cindycashman.com.

Cashman has authored several other books published by Newport House Inc., the company she co-founded, and is also a professional speaker whose topics include "sales, marketing and intuition." In Chapter One, "Punctuality: It's a Relative Concept," she recommends aspiring short-timers arrive "fashionably late" throughout the workday to meetings, after lunch and following extended break times. Same goes for returning (or not) phone calls, e-mail messages and borrowed items.

"Punctuality is such a flexible part of your employment that there is no limit to the way you can abuse it for the termination of your service," Cashman explains in her tongue-in-cheek tome.

Similar screw-ups are suggested in Chapter Two, "Excuses: Let Your Creativity Shine." Need to explain to supervisors your bizarre office antics, but don't want to let on that you're looking to get the boot? Blame it on little green men, government spies or whatever else strikes your fancy. "Explain that they' are watching you," Cashman writes, "and that you have to keep a low profile." Quicker than you can ask, "Is it OK if I keep the company car as a souvenir?" you'll be on the corporate fast track to the unemployment office.