Columnist Lisa Ferguson: Sun Lite for Sept. 29, 2003

Lisa Ferguson

Monday, Sept. 29, 2003 | 8:27 a.m.

Ruining the romance

Oh, what a glorious time to be a rodent in the dating rat race. These days it seems there's no shortage of ways to trap, er, find a potential mate, including on the Internet, at quickie "speed-dating" events, and even as a game-show-contestant-turned-B-list-celebrity.

There are also plenty of "experts" around who are ready, willing and spewing all sorts of courtship-related advice. Paul A. Falzone is one of them: CEO of The Right One and Together Dating service (with offices throughout the country), he also authored the book "A Singles Guide to Finding 'The Right One'" (2001, PAF Publications; available free plus shipping and handling charges by visiting www.info@therightone.com).

In his infinite relationship wisdom, Falzone has compiled a list of topics men and women should steer clear of on a first date. Among them:

It's all in the game

If you've opted to take the aforementioned game-show route to finding true love, you certainly have plenty of formats from which to choose. Here's an abbreviated refresher ripped from the screens of TV sets everywhere: "Joe Millionaire"; "Are You Hot?"; "Race to the Altar," "Star Dates"; "Cupid"; "Blind Date"; "The Bachelorette."

Once again Falzone can and does weigh in on the real story behind "reality" dating programs. While the shows are "designed to titillate and provide amusing entertainment ... they certainly aren't a blueprint on how to form a realistic relationship," he says, reminding the ultimate goal for contestants remains being crowned the winner. "Finding someone you're compatible with isn't a prime-time contest" that culminates in "being pitted in an elimination round."

Still hung up on the "game" part of the phrase "dating game"? Before submitting an application to become a contestant, Falzone suggests those lookin' for love "develop a positive attitude" about themselves and "maintain your sense of humor." The plus side: "If it doesn't work out, you're not being publicly humiliated in front of millions of viewers."

Who are you?

However you happen to stumble upon that certain someone, it probably wouldn't hurt to do a little homework before going completely ga-ga over him or her.

The folks behind www.YourReputation.com would love to lend a hand. For a $5-membership fee, you can log on to the new website and read "reputation profiles" created from insight gathered from other members (their identities and true names have been verified, via public and private databases) who have submitted comments about their previous dealings with a specific person.

Beyond jabs offered by jilted lovers and sour ex-spouses, the site may also prove helpful for those in search of feedback before signing business contracts, as well as to get the lowdown on neighbors, co-workers and potential buddies.

And membership has its privileges: Five bucks also buys the opportunity to post your comments about others. Be sure to mind your manners or run the risk of your profile taking a printed pummeling.