Columnist Susan Snyder: Grandparents won’t give up custody fight

Monday, Aug. 25, 2003 | 8:38 a.m.

Susan Snyder's column appears Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at snyder@lasvegassun.com or (702) 259-4082.

Nancy Sirlin held out a child's drawing of two girls created entirely in green marker.

The white sheet was worn with the frequent handling of a doting grandma who posts it on the refrigerator door when she isn't showing it to someone.

"This is my pride and joy," the 53-year-old Mesquite woman said. "Brittany drew it. She said, 'That's me, Nana. And that's you with your green purse.' "

The memory is bittersweet. It comes with the wonder of when -- or if -- Nancy will ever see Brittany again.

Nancy's 5-year-old granddaughter and the child's six brothers and sisters, ages 1 to 8, live in foster homes in Vermont. Her rights as a grandparent dissolved when her daughter lost parental rights July 21, because of child neglect.

Nancy said the children were living with their mother in Windsor, Vt., and looked clean, well-dressed and well-fed in August 2001, when she traveled to New England for her mother's funeral. But five months later Vermont state workers took custody of the five older children. The twins were taken in May 2002, two days after they were born.

Nancy said she had helped her daughter financially, but didn't know how troubled the family situation had become because she lives 3,000 miles away in Nevada.

"I guess everything went downhill," she said. "Their teeth were rotted. They had lice. I wondered what in the world was going on. I never raised my daughter like that."

By the time the hearing for terminating parental rights was scheduled, it was too late for Nancy and her husband, Brad, to file for consideration as an interested party in the proceeding. They hired a Vermont lawyer who attended the hearing, but the judge refused to admit them as parties at that time.

While they are waiting for the judge to determine whether the Sirlins can be considered in the children's welfare, the couple are seeking to adopt all seven.

Right now Brandon, 8, Brianna, who turns 7 on Thursday, Brittany, who is 6 in October, and 5-year-old Dylan live in one foster home. Tyler, who is 2, lives in a second home 30 miles from them. And twins Tate and Macy, 1, live in a third home about 40 miles from their eldest siblings.

"For some reason, the judge thinks it's better for the kids to be in three different places," said Brad, 50, a security officer at the Oasis casino in Mesquite.

Nancy, 53, fears a legal decision is imminent. She has written letters to Gov. Kenny Guinn, First Lady Laura Bush and the governor and two lawmakers in Vermont. She tells her story to any reporter who will listen.

"She knows she was late getting into this," said Margaret Friedenauer, a Claremont (N.H.) Eagle Times reporter, who profiled Nancy on Aug. 17.

Snapshots of the children cover a coffee table in the Sirlins' neat, three-bedroom home. But photos are a poor substitute.

"We want our grandchildren here," Nancy said. "We want them in the back yard playing together. We want them building blanket tents."

New clothes and school supplies for Brianna's seventh birthday stood boxed and ready for mailing. Vermont's Agency of Social and Rehabilitative Services workers won't confirm whether the children receive the gifts they send.

"We don't miss a birthday or a holiday," she said. "These kids are our future. Please tell people to send us their prayers."