Friday, May 11, 2001 | 8:47 a.m.
Note to readers: Sun founder Hank Greenspun's last Where I Stand column was written in 1989, the year he passed away. In the following weeks Classic Sun will feature columns written by Hank that still relate to today's headlines. In this column, written on Dec. 31, 1964, Hank writes of the traffic snarls in Las Vegas, when continue to plague the city even today:
It's like the old-time horror movies.
As a kid, I used to get goose-pimply over pictures like one I remember vividly where Lon Chaney played the part of a mad scientist whose kicks were received by installing the brains of animals into human corpses. He had a secret method of bring the corpses back to life, so that the humans with animal instincts could roam about the countryside creating all kinds of disturbance and chaos.
Chaney had a way of collecting corpses that was a lot easier than robbing the graveyards, which was the prosaic method in the old horror films.
The mad scientist had his laboratory along a creepy country road, twisting and turning through the trees. One especially large tree was right near a particularly vicious curve. When he heard a car coming he would use some sort of mirror gadget that placed the tree in a different position and the drivers would smash into it, thus providing enough corpses to keep up his gruesome experiments.
I certainly don't mean to infer anyone would be guilty of such shenanigans today, but there's an obstacle course on Maryland Parkway that resembles Lon Chaney's tree in its deadliness. The only advantageous thing about this particular hazard is that it is within calling distance of the hospital, so accident victims can be transported quickly when help is needed.
So far we've been lucky. The sirens that have been screaming out that way mean only that four trucks have disentangled a few cars without serious injury to anyone. But one of these days it could be a fatal.
I am speaking of a stretch just south of Sahara and Maryland Parkway intersection. The curbing stretches part way and suddenly narrows into the roadway. Already the curb has been broken away by cars traveling at night. It is almost impossible to tell where the road ends and the curbing begins.
It's bad enough for people who drive at a normal rate of speed, but along Maryland Parkway there are quite a few drivers who inch that speedometer up and up every chance they get. When that curbing suddenly looms in front of you, there's not much chance of avoiding it.
But that's only one of the hundreds of obstacle courses you'll find around the city and county.
Drive out west on Sahara on the new curved bypass where the freeway construction is under way. Now there's a real challenge. If you make it "round the bend," they trap you in that bottomless chuck hole as you turn due west off the curve.
And how about Charleston underpass with those confusing lines? It's been that way for years. A fellow driving at night can only guess where he belongs and pray that the guy alongside agrees.
Obstacle courses -- you'll find them all over town and all over the county.
For example -- back on West Sahara again. What kind of street alignment is the tricky bit where Arville crosses Sahara? And don't tell me it's because they can't get proper right of way. Just admit it's poor planning and we'll go right along with the theory.
A person could start driving around the area and find hundreds of spots where driving is hazardous due to road conditions. It might be a good idea to make a survey of the area and check off all the danger points caused by inadequate engineering, poor construction or bad planning.
As we approach a new year, we'll be hit with the same old hue and cry about driving safety. The appeal takes on serious aspects as we look back on an all-time high of 211 traffic deaths in the state of Nevada in 1964.
While we urge drivers to heed posted speed limits and car passengers to make use of safety belts, how about a more than gentle prod to the people responsible for engineering our streets and highways?
In 1961, 15 persons met death near Jean before officials took cognizance of public wrath and newspaper editorials and posted proper signs.
The old road to Mount Charleston used to take its toll until simple signs posted the danger areas.
Driving safety is not just a driver responsibility. Public officials must provide the safest conditions possible.
Unlike Lon Chaney's mythical laboratory, no one needs corpses.
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