Monday, Dec. 28, 1998 | 10:02 a.m.
The plan was to hide out in Vegas well past the millennium.
My own hometown, New York (a k a Satan's City, capital of the Evil Empire), seems to draw more than its share of the loonies of the world, with World Trade Center bombings, mysterious airplane explosions and subway conspiracy plots.
With the millennium fast approaching, I figured I'd just hibernate out in the hinterlands until the coast is clear, like those teenagers in the movie "Red Dawn." (What I'll do if and when the dregs of nuclear waste start rolling in is another question.)
But after seeing the new animated film "Prince of Egypt," it occurred to me that Las Vegas may not be the safer city after all.
The film tells the story of Moses from the biblical book of Exodus, culminating with the 10 Plagues inflicted upon the desert-dwelling Egyptians until they let my people go.
But think about it -- in the last year alone, Las Vegas has already suffered through (and survived) many of the plagues that cowed the Egyptians.
Consider ...
Darkness: In May, a power outage at the MGM trapped guests in elevators for six hours.
Boils: Hundred-degree summers, a Nevada plague of long-standing.
Locusts: Who can forget this summer's deafening roar of the cicadas, like the sound of a million electrical wires on the fritz, enough to drive a city girl mad?
Pestilence: The mysterious "sick building syndrome" (blamed on moldy water pipes) that struck workers at the Grant Sawyer Office Building.
Frogs: Two words: Aaron Russo.
Insects: Killer bees have arrived in Nevada, and are already taking out small animals in Boulder City.
Hail: In September, driving down Paradise Road, I swear there were ice pellets the size of golf balls pounding on the roof of my car.
Wild beasts: Two more words: Mike Tyson.
I could rest my case right there. But there's some plagues that struck in Las Vegas this year that never even threatened the Egyptians.
We had flooding at the Charleston underpass. Lightening bolts of fire striking Palace Station. Even an earthquake, with this month's 2.7-magnitude tremors in the Northwest.
So I want to know: Is this as bad as it gets? Or is all this just a foreshadowing of more to come?
One know-it-all helpfully pointed out that, due to our many amenities, Vegas is likely to draw even more doomsayer devastation as the millennium approaches, this time man-made.
For starters, our foreign and domestic enemies may wish ill will upon our mecca of glorified gambling, which also features a major U.S. military site right outside of town and a heavily-visited American landmark and power source for the West.
As an added bonus, for millennium fanatics, there is also the Luxor hotel-casino, drawing those who crazily link the whole "Egyptian pyramids were really built by aliens" theory with the "coming end of the world" theory, exploited in the awful film "Stargate."
You may choose to ignore, dismiss or make light of the whole situation, like a fellow reporter who always ends his e-mail missives with a quote from a Baptist minister in Florida, who theorizes: "If God was going to hurl a meteor at someone, you'd think he'd start with Las Vegas."
Very cute. Awfully funny. But what if he already has?
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