Wednesday, April 22, 1998 | 10:28 a.m.
Today being Secretaries Day, we'd like to salute that one perky, indispensable person who, despite everyone else's mad scramblings, truly keeps the office running -- the boss. When secretaries sign paychecks, we'll salute them too. In the spirit of Secretaries Day, let's visit working girls of another sort, the sort who take dictation at Carson City's Moonlight Bunny Ranch, where severed-penis celebrity John Wayne Bobbitt is no longer working. "We had to cut him loose," says owner Dennis Hof, taking the words out of our mouths. "He was hitting on every girl." The ranch forbids employees from handling the merchandise, but Bobbitt, not for the first time, couldn't contain himself. Too bad; he was good for business. The celebrity-curiosity factor alone brought in extra clients. "It was absolutely amazing," Hof says. "The only thing the guy did his whole life is get his (penis) cut off, and people couldn't get enough of him." (Add you own quip here.) Says one such visitor, Texan Wes Smith, "The girls really liked him. They were hugging him and hanging on him." Perhaps hoping to straighten out a life so far marked by amateur elective surgery, fleeting porn stardom and a stint as a novelty minister, Bobbitt has moved to Arizona with a former Bunny Ranch prostitute.
Miscellany
In honor of Secretaries Day -- which, by extension, would include secretaries-general, right? -- let's catch up with U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan as he turns his attention to the First World: Hollywood. In Tinseltown Tuesday to woo celeb support for his cash-strapped world organization, Annan enlisted Magic Johnson as a "messenger of peace" and ambassador to rich people. "If the public ... realizes how the U.N. impacts on their daily lives," Annan said, "what the U.N. and its agencies are doing to make this world a better place, I think they will support us." And what better place to seek that support, to demonstrate the U.N.'s daily impact on the lives of the needy, than by partying in Beverly Hills with Tony Curtis, Robert Stack, James Woods and Karl Malden? Should Annan ever tire of wasting his people skills on international diplomacy and new-world-orderism, we hear there's an opening at the Bunny Ranch.
Compiled by Scott Dickensheets
archive
