Wednesday, April 1, 1998 | 9:01 a.m.
We're in an April Fools' daze here at People in the News. It's not the handshake buzzers, squirt flowers or Whoopee cushions (which, when sat on, emit flatulent dialogue from "Sister Act II") -- those are standard office equipment here. No, we get queasy when the news imitates April Fools' gags. A previously non-demonstration-inclined, nonsmoking comedian is suddenly stirred to civil disobedience on behalf of smokers rights? Good one! Ha ha ... ha? Wait, someone at the wire service isn't pulling a fast one? Apparently not: Drew Carey really did park at a booth in Hollywood's trendy Barney's Beanery Tuesday morning and start smoking, in open defiance of a recent California law banning smoking in bars and restaurants. And he really isn't accustomed to puffin' stuff. "I don't smoke," he told the assembled media. And he really doesn't do this sort of thing with Martin Sheen-like regularity. "I've never done anything like this in my life," Carey said. "But protesting is fun, and I may do it again -- if I don't get arrested." (He apparently doesn't do it with Martin Sheen-like commitment, either.) He was neither arrested nor cited, although he spent much of the day Careying on about this "insane, unreasonable law. People should be able to have a smoking environment if they want."
Briefly
News? April Fools' gag? What's the difference these days? On Tuesday, South African President Nelson Mandela disembarked from a three-day cruise aboard the Queen Elizabeth II with gal pal Graca Machel. Immediately the rumors flew -- they'd been married at sea! Mandela answered with a definite, forceful evasion: "We live with rumors," he said. His office, however, provided a helpful interpretive gloss: "Should reports of this kind be published in the media on April 1, 1998, they should be treated as April Fools' stories." Well, there you go. News? April Fools' gag? What's the difference these days? In a world where comedians protest on a barely considered whim, where druggie actors get out of jail early while ordinary, non-celebrity first offenders stew behind bars for years, where we can't even find a photo of Nelson Mandela to accompany this item, clearly the joke's on us. Life is the biggest April Fools' prank of all.
Compiled by Scott Dickensheets
archive
