Tuesday, Oct. 5, 2010 | 3:52 p.m.
The first rule in sports betting is, never trust a $1 hot dog sold from a vending cart in the sports book.
Wait. That's not right.
Rather, the first rule of sports betting is: Never bet your heart. Scott Thompson, known around the globe as Carrot Top, ignored that rule Monday night and now has to perform five minutes of percussive entertainment.
The Luxor headliner, with hair the color of the Miami Dolphins' tangerine uniform piping, bet Justin Spencer of Recycled Percussion on Monday's Dolphins-New England Patriots "Monday Night Football" matchup. New England won, 41-14.
Topper is a fan of the Dolphins dating to his days growing up in South Florida. Spencer preyed on this fandom, winning a bet that requires Carrot Top to open for RP at Studio 54 in MGM Grand. Top won't be performing comedy, either, but a five-minute drum solo (he's actually a pretty good drummer, but a bad accordionist).
Spencer was to perform five minutes of standup if he lost the bet. The date that Top is to go all Neal Peart on us is to be determined, after RP returns from China. You didn't know they were going to China? Read on ...
RP heading to China
Recycled Percussion (see above) is heading to Shanghai Stadium on Sunday to perform on the finale of "China's Got Talent." The crew that performs in a setting suited for a couple hundred people at Studio 54 will play to about 400 million TV viewers on China's Dragon TV.
In a news release, Justin Spencer (again, see above), says: "We have always had a desire to perform in China, more so than any other place on earth. That dream and desire becomes a reality for us now." This reminds of the old joke: "What do you think of Red China?" "On a yellow tablecloth, it looks great!"
For more jokeage, read on ...
We're doin' it live!
Today at 6 p.m., and for the first time, my weekly KUNV 91.5-FM radio show "Our Metropolis" goes live during the station's current pledge drive. The show features Guy (host of "The Dirty Jokes Show" at Hooters), Night Owl Showroom headliner Todd Paul and Mickey Joseph of "The Rat Pack is Back" at the Plaza. Joining them is Brit comic Matt Black and Las Vegas club frequenter Rob Sherwood.
The "Dirty Jokes Show" is Saturdays-Thursdays (dark Fridays), costs $34.95 and is one of the best per-dollar-value deals in the city. It is staged upstairs at the cozy Iowa Theater for the Performing Arts, a funny title for a space that seats about 150 and is designed as an alleyway behind a comedy club. With Guy as the ringleader, the comics boomerang jokes for better than an hour. It's nonstop, inspired, organic comedy. Guy is ideally cast in the central role, as the man who holds the Guinness Book of World Records mark with 676 jokes told in a single hour.
A sample: "A guy walks into the doctor's office. The doctor says, 'I have bad news. You have only 10 left to live.' The guy says, 'Ten what?' The doctor says, 'Nine ... eight.'"
In the show I caught last week, Guy actually reeled off a dozen "doctor" jokes in a row. Another: "A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, 'I have bad news: You have cancer and Alzheimer's.' The guy says, 'Oh, well, thank God I don't have cancer.'" One more, from the non-doctor pile: "How can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat? She can fit into your wife's dresses."
So tune in, at 6. If not, we'll post the show here and on the KUNV.org site.
Follow John Katsilometes on Twitter at twitter.com/JohnnyKats.