Wednesday, July 14, 2010 | 3:36 p.m.
From July 14 through Aug. 4, Robin Leach will be relaxing under the Tuscan sun on his annual vacation and will keep his eyes on what’s happening in Las Vegas from Italy. Meantime, a kindly crew of Las Vegas celebrities and VIPs has agreed to write guest columns for Vegas DeLuxe.
By Chumlee, guest columnist
Hey, it’s Chumlee the fashion guru (and star of The History Channel’s Pawn Stars), and this is your fashion wake-up call for the summer of 2010.
First of all, skull swimsuits are out like Christmas lights, unless they’re on a female body. Bright colors and abstract patterns are back in full swing. The more off the wall the pattern, the better.
The choke-your-neck-through-your-legs pants are out. They have been. Can you breathe in those, man? I'm tired of looking at people from behind and not being able to tell if they're packing or not.
Besides, it's summertime, so get some color on those drumsticks.
If you’re still sporting solid white or striped button-up shirts or a little black dress at nightclubs because you think it’s fresh, look around you. It’s a leftover fling. Fresh means you’re the only one doing it or the first to do it.
Gents: Go for broke and get that crazy-looking, in-your-face button-up shirt you’ve been too scared to wear. Ladies: I wanna see long, elegant, semi-form-fitting and colorful dresses or delicate and intriguing blouses that leave my imagination open like a good novel.
Big hats are definitely in style, and not just for the girls, either. Dare to be different. Go bold! Hats not only look good, but they also protect your face from harmful rays and paparazzi camera flashes.
If you want a real look this summer, observe what I'm wearing and try to one up me. Don't forget your favorite sunglasses. Belts that say “look at me” are in!
Let them puppies breath! Mandals and sandals cause scandals if you’re still wearing socks under there. People don’t spend that much time looking at your feet anyway unless it’s a fetish, so don’t be self-conscious about your toes. They probably look good enough to go without socks.
As for shoes, make sure none of your friends have the same pair. Buy yourself a few pairs of shoes; don’t be frugal. Yes, guys, I’m talking to you. Just because you love shoes doesn’t make you any less of a man. Girls, you know what’s up. I don’t even need to tell you.
For the ladies, wear something revealing yet appealing. It’s hot outside, so bikini tops and daisy dukes in boisterous colors will grab guys’ attention fast. Maybe rock a flower or other accessory in your hair, but make sure it’s real and all natural. That’s always a good rule of thumb any time: Just keep it as real as possible. Don’t do too much, but do enough to set yourself apart from a crowd.
For the guys, I suggest a nice dual-purpose outfit. Sport something active, fun and interesting. Think ’80s, but not exactly 1980s -- more like 2080s. When I go out, I wear something noticeable, comfortable and cool. Layers are bad monkey in the heated summer months, but I don’t have to tell you that, do I? And like my friend Tim says, keep a spare set clean and close at all times.
If you’re holding extra cargo like me, keep the overexposure to a minimum. As much as I love my big people, I still have to say keep the flab in the lab. Try something that accentuates your personality, not your body. People will appreciate your style and not having to look at your many butt dimples.
For those of you who have been working on that super choice body all winter, flaunt it in a way that shows you have class. Don’t be afraid to show a little skin, but keep it conservative for the kids and such. We all know kids are like sponges, and they will copy what you wear. Use your noodle, Ken & Barbie.
Follow these guidelines, and I’m sure that you’ll have no trouble landing attention and comments all summer long. I'll come back at you this fall with more great fashion tips. Later, skaters!
Peace, love, unity & respect,
Peepshow star Holly Madison and magician Lance Burton are the guest columnists tomorrow.
Follow Robin Leach on Twitter at Twitter.com/Robin_Leach.