User profile

LeavingLasVegas

I DO think that the Depression has something to do with the toxins perhaps, and, perhaps more importantly, the lack of GREEN and LIFE!!! This is a DESERT and was not inhabited by anyone, save for some outlaws, until the Mob started the gambling scene.
All I know is that I've been forced to live here--due to chronic health issues and hoped that I would find some support from my family. The longer my parents have lived here, the worse they get, due to the gambling. My Mother has become a liar and a compulsive slot machine player.
I have never felt so suicidal in my life. And my Medical problems got way worse when I moved here the first time after my divorce. I ended up scared to leave due to the medications my doctor was prescribing. Then when I finally did get the courage to leave, I felt so wonderful for 2 years. I was a different person... creative and vibrant and social again. I'm literally afraid to go out here due to the road rage. I made a pact in August when I ended up returning not by my own will--long story--that if I'm not out of here by this August, I'm taking my own life. I hope I will be gone. Sadly, it's very difficult to get employment these days from out of state and I can't get an apartment without employment... Wish me luck. I don't want to become a statistic, but this city is LITERALLY KILLING ME!!!