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Wednesday, Feb. 8, 2012 | 2 a.m.
The Democrats could not have planned the Republican presidential caucus any better if they actually had planned it (no, Ron Paul crazies, they really didn’t).
This weekend’s travesty defies metaphors, redefines irony, obliterates embarrassment. This is saying something for the party that brought us the grotesqueries of Jim Gibbons and John Ensign.
There was a humorous colloquy on Twitter on Tuesday, with Secretary of State Ross Miller, the Sun’s David Schwartz and The Atlantic’s Molly Ball citing “Alice in Wonderland’s” indelible “caucus-race” scene to amplify the ridicule. But even invoking Lewis Carroll, whose “Jabberwocky” makes about as much sense as the GOP event but has a much better cadence, does not do justice to the caucus gone wrong.
This is the most shocking display of ineptitude since the party managed to make a national spectacle of itself by nominating Sharron Angle, the only living Nevadan who could have lost to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid in 2010. But at least the GOP could have claimed it couldn’t control the U.S. Senate primary electorate two years ago. What’s the Republican excuse for a spectacularly low turnout — 11,000 fewer voters than the non-race of 2008 — and a vote tally that wasn’t final until a day and a half after the caucus, giving rise to anger, derision and conspiracies?
This was the worst possible scenario for a party trying to emerge from the shadow of the Reid loss: They didn’t turn out voters as they claimed they would, and the Clark County party, the most important one, cemented its image as a cuckoo’s nest.
This is the party whose candidates keep saying they won’t apologize for America (don’t get me started) but whose leaders won’t even say they are sorry for the worst-run election in state history. The same party always hectoring the Democrats about failure to take responsibility — every day they are fast and furious about Eric Holder — won’t make anyone walk the plank (hello, Clark County Chairman Dave Gibbs). Now the party that hates big government wants big government to start running these — i.e., switching from a caucus to a primary — to save them from future humiliation.
Indeed, Republican National Committeeman Bob List said Monday the caucus was a “remarkable achievement,” and all he and ex-Chairwoman Amy Tarkanian could talk about on “Face to Face” on Monday were the thousands of volunteers they recruited for the November election.
Remarkable achievement? Remarkably ridiculous, perhaps. And those volunteers? How many of them want to stay involved after that weekend nightmare?
Remember, the GOP took forever in an election that was super-low turnout. They took forever despite promises of a social media revolution — results delivered in real time by Twitter! Remember, they took forever despite having most of the votes already counted at the precincts by early afternoon.
When you have descended beyond parody, you have a problem.
The Republicans lamely tried to make this about the media, that we were simply upset about missing deadlines. But when List bragged to an audience at the Republican Men’s Club that the party had — yes, remarkably — gotten the results certified by the next day, that was too much.
Certified? What about released?
That led to the “We’re Not Iowa” explanation, a reference to that state releasing results on the night of its Jan. 3 caucus that Mitt Romney won by eight votes, only to learn a few weeks later Rick Santorum won by 34 votes.
Yes, Iowa screwed up. But the Iowa results did not really change — it was still a tie. And while Clark County unfathomably decided to re-count 17,000 ballots — no other county didn’t trust the managers it assigned to precincts — the results, except for who finished second, were known — Mitt Romney in a landslide.
Then the nonsense of a “trouble box” of scores of ballots, the Paul folks swarming the county headquarters and the Adelson school caucus only added to something Barnum and Bailey couldn’t have conjured up.
Let’s be clear: The final results did not post on the GOP’s fancy Google map until the early morning hours of Monday. Yes, Monday — for a caucus that, for all intents and purposes, was over early Saturday afternoon.
Yes, a remarkable achievement.
The Democrats, not surprisingly, reacted like a dog whose owner forgot the rabies vaccine. The froth dripped off news releases as the Democrats lampooned the GOP for all its pre-caucus braggadocio and even released quotes from Gov. Brian Sandoval and others talking up the primary as a “party-building” exercise. Or, as it turned out, party-deconstructing exercise.
The Republicans may still have the last laugh come November. Extrapolating from what happened in February to nine months hence is dangerous. But what’s clear is that if GOP candidates, from the presidential race on down, win this fall, it will be in spite of Nevada’s Goofy Old Party.
"Ron Paul crazies"?! Careful, Jon Ralston. We "crazies" are multiplying exponentially and you will be greatly outnumbered by the patriots in the revolution who are taking America back. So unprofessional...media "press-titute."
TizLiz: Tea Baggers are the only patriots? So funny! So ridiculous!
Around 43,000 votes were cast in Nevada on Saturday and it took almost two days to count them. Almost 243,000 votes were cast in Missouri yesterday, and it seemed like they were counted before dinner (and that contest wasn't even "real"). 1.65 million votes were cast in Florida (FLORIDA!!) last Tuesday, and votes were counted that night.
Anybody want to argue that the Nevada Republican Party did NOT embarrass itself and our whole state?
Looks like some of its own have been caught in the "dumbing down" of the state's populace by the GOP cuts in education in Nevada.
Ironic and [darkly] comical --especially on a day when the Sun reports that math scores are increasing.
The dumbing down of Nevada continues.
For seventeen years now, we have suffered under Republican Party Governors. And every damn one of them tries to balance their budget by taking pencils and paper away from school kids, replacing them with hand guns and knives. All because their precious tax cuts for the rich MUST be protected.
It has bled down to the Nevada GOP Caucus. For all of America to see. What an embarassment. But what do you expect of a party that runs on seething hatred, continual confrontation and outright chaos.
I suggest the next caucus the Republican Party start using the duck, duck, goose method. Maybe eenie meanie mynie moe or something simple. Maybe invest in a high tech Chinese abacus to keep count or something.
that low turnout coupled with that fiasco of a Republican presidential caucus should concern the state G.O.P. that beating a beatable Democrat is slipping through there radical fingers again.
The dumbing down of Nevada continues.
For seventeen years now, we have suffered under Republican Party Governors.
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Considering that Nevada has had a Republican governor for only the past thirteen years (since January 1999, when Kenny Guinn took office), the comment about the "dumbing down" of Nevada is pretty ironic.
Not sure if Jim Gibbons or Sharron Angle were in charge of the caucus but wouldn't be surprised if their inept fingerprints were all over the debacle.
Seriously, how hard can it be to count votes? You start at 1 (one) and continue counting (two, three, etc.) until you reach the bottom of the stack. Did crazy Sharron talk about Second Amendment remedies because the number two is where her knowledge of math ends?
This is embarrassing on many levels for all Nevadans but is especially damaging for the image of the state's beleaguered public education system, particularly the arithmetic department.
It was a all a pathetic and desperate attempt at making Nevada look as though as it's a real player in national politics. The US Census puts the state population at just over 2.7 million. That's about 1.5 million less than dinky Connecticut.
We're not a player on the national stage. Most people in this state aren't educated or interested enough in politics to draw out big crowds. All of this wannabe hype was intended to get some attention. It amounted to nothing more than a passing of gas in a swimming pool.
Caucusing takes a lot of organization and time. Considering that the bulk of the state's population is centered in Vegas and most Las Vegans can't even be bothered to get to know their neighbors, I'm shocked that they've been as able to organize as they have. But where was the get out the vote campaign? Where was the drive to get people involved? Apparently "grass roots" only works in Nevada when outside organizations are willing to bus people in and dump a lot money here. It didn't happen this time and so the only people who go their sh#t together were the Mormons who knew who they were going to vote for anyway. I can't imagine there was much caucusing going on among that bunch. "Meeting come to order. All those in favor of Romney raise your hand. Passed by unanimous consent. Next order of business: cookies are punch are now being served."
The comedy that is Nevada writes itself.
Republicans just doing what they do best, messing things up
Sure, there were some flaws in the GOP caucuses this time around, no doubt. But, to say that the Nevada GOP has embarrassed itself again? No, I don't think so. This is all one big diversionary tactic to "water down" the real breaking scandal of the Democratic party.
The Democrats famous hero, former President John F. Kennedy has turned out to have been nothing more than another "charlatan" who sat in the oval office as nothing more than a letch with a lustful desire for a young, innocent woman who came to the White House as an intern. It doesn't get anymore disgraceful than this.
Jon Ralston, lets discuss embarrassment here in this forum. Mimi Alford alleges in referring to herself and former President John F. Kennedy: "We had races with rubber ducks in the bathtub". Is this why it is all so fitting that the Democratic political descendents of John F. Kennedy worship ducks and have therefore made this their real, but undisclosed, until now, their family tree? Do you all even realize how much some of you "left-wing quacks" have many traits of the "Duck and McDuck" family? Does "Goostave Gander Duck" ring a bell?
And who follows your article, almost immediately? Another group of opinionated "little yellow rubber duckies". They have a race to see who can post their comments first in hope of gaining some type of recognition from you for being within the ranks of the Duck family.
"ColinFromLasVegas", otherwise known in discussion room politics as "HortenseDuck" writes, "I suggest the next caucus the Republican Party start using the duck, duck, goose method. Maybe eenie meanie mynie moe or something simple. Maybe invest in a high tech Chinese abacus to keep count or something."
No. no, "Hortense", as conservatives and independents, we will not choose to proceed in our politics such as the way the Democratic political platform waddles along.
Wow Brad. Really?
It takes the Nevada GOP almost two days to count 43,000 votes. It takes the Missouri GOP around two hours to count 243,000 votes (since I have no idea what math skills you may or may not possess, let me help: that's 200,000 MORE votes counted in LESS than 5% of the time). That's not embarrassing to you?
And your defense of that indescribable ineptness is to talk about a President's bathing habits from 50 years ago? So, so sad.
Good to see Brad has taken off his mask of impartiality and has quit pretending to be an independent moderate 'who usually votes Democratic'.
Congrats on coming out of the right-wing closet, Brad.
Another "DumboDuck" appropriately pen-named, "AngusPotholeMcDuck" emerges from the shadows of left-wing extremism to make a public statement.
"It takes the Nevada GOP almost two days to count 43,000 votes. That's not embarrassing to you?"
"AngusPotholeMcDuck" , why are you so concerned with the GOP caucuses? Are you one of those neighbors that always has your beak stuck in everyone else's business? One of common sense would think you would been thrilled to see all the problems that came forth in the Nevada GOP caucuses.
These problems of the GOP caucuses can and will be easily rectified. However, the fifty year cover-up by the "DumboDucks" of the left-wings most cherished and worshipped President turns out to be the ultimate embarrassment and disgrace to the Oval Office in the history of American politics. This is precisely what is, so, so true and sad.
In response to: "LastThroes" from the "All Comments" section. I've only sided with Democrats mainly because of their opposition to Yucca Mountain here in Nevada. I also agree with them sporadically on other issues, but not many. I don't like extremes on either side of the political spectrum. This is precisely why I have always centered myself as a registered Independent.
When it comes to President Obama, I personally like the man, but do not agree with the majority of his politics. However, I do highly respect him for the gutsy decisions he has made as commander-in-chief on more than a few occasions. Other than these aspects, I have always been in opposition to the majority of his political decisions.
The pure insulting remarks and personal "fairy tale allegations" made concerning me from the left-wing element in this discussion room may have well moved me from the absolute center to the edges of the right-wing political arena. Which means, in my case, Yucca Mountain is no longer in my eyes the primary threat of danger to our state. It is the "DumboDucks" of the Democratic Party and their extreme left-wing politics.
No sense in me supporting the Democrats who are attempting to protect Nevada from opposing Yucca Mountain when they, these same politicians are destroying our country and the future of prosperity that we should all be looking forward to.
Dear Brad -
You are singsational. Keep on singing that lame tune.
Love, Angus
PS, I'm not concerned with the GOP caucuses. I'm concerned with the incredible embarrassment they've brought to our state.
PPS, I'm not nearly as old as you. In fact, I wasn't alive when JFK was taking his rubber-ducky baths. Either way, I still don't see the relevance.
PPPS, It's neither left-wing extremism, nor right-wing extremism, nor extremism of any sort to be embarrassed when it takes 24 times longer to count 82% fewer ballots. If you'd like to be embarrassed because a President who died over 48 years ago took rubber-ducky baths with an intern, feel free. But you haven't said why the ineptness of the Nevada GOP does not embarrass you. Unless, of course, it's because it would have taken you even longer to count the votes.
PPPPS, I am not one of those neighbors that always has my beak stuck in everyone else's business. If a group of Nevadans publicly and horribly embarrasses all Nevadans, it is my business as much as yours.
To: "Bostonboy"; I have to give you credit, great comeback!!! You do your homework and you not only have a good working brain, but a lot of stored data for it to operate well. PS. Great semse of humor and a lot of wit too!!! I respect that. Nice work Kevin.
Thanks Brad. ;-)
Time for Ralston to take off the "Edwards for President" bumper sticker.