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November 26, 2014

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Staring at boobs, hiting a ball, the hardest game ever — reviewing three new apps

Rack Stare: The Sex Game

one star

The premise is fine: Stare at a sexy woman’s chest without getting caught. But the execution is terrible. You touch the woman’s chest while she’s looking away—how creepy is that?—and as she starts to turn back, you remove your finger or else you get caught. Each round lasts two minutes. That’s about 105 seconds too long. There are no apparent variations of any kind. And they seriously expect me to pay to unlock the Natalie: Office Manager round? One level free, 99 cents for additional levels.

Hardest Game Ever 0.02s

five stars

Exactly what you’d expect from the sequel to 0.03s: fun, fast, eclectic reaction testers. This time, you’re not doing virtual pushups, blocking virtual soccer balls or catching virtual chickens in virtual nets; you’re cutting eggplants, parachuting and matching up office supplies—in two seconds or less, of course. By the time it takes you to finish this sentence, you could have played two rounds. What are you waiting for? 10 levels free, 99 cents for all 34 levels.

Flick Home Run

two stars

The game description says I can “experience a real baseball batting through the physical pendulum,” but that’s just not accurate. This is the least baseball-like baseball game I’ve ever played. The graphics are fine, but I get bored waiting for my ball to drop. I wish the ball did interesting stuff as it moved forward, like the tumbling guy in Catapult Madness. Maybe it does once I unlock more advanced levels. But I’m sure not going to be playing long enough to find out. Free, power ups cost 99 cents to $9.99.

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