Celebrity/NFL media picks Week 8

Dave Toplikar

Mayor Oscar Goodman jokes with reporters Oct. 15, 2010, after having signed the final ceremonial steel beam that later was placed atop the new seven-story Las Vegas City Hall. His signature — which includes a martini glass — reads “Oscar B. Goodman, Mayor of the Greatest City in the Universe!”

By Sal DeFilippo

Saturday, Oct. 30, 2010 | 4:19 p.m.

Imagine being a fortune teller. You get to work from home, wear some cool threads, stare into an oversized snowglobe all day, and basically just make stuff up. That has to be a great gig.

But not even the most creative of fortune tellers could have predicted what we saw during a wild NFL weekend NFL.

“So, um, you’re a Browns fan, huh? Oh, yeah, I see big things for you this weekend. Yeah, yeah, I know you are playing the defending Super Bowl champs in their building and you are two-touchdown underdogs, but as I gaze into my trusty crystal ball, I see … I see … a punter running – man, look at him go. Sixty-eight yards, the longest run by any punter in 40 years. And I see a big lineman, intercepting a pass and scoring – and the same guy doing it again later. I know Cleveland hasn’t had a guy return two picks for scores in exactly 50 years, but it’s all very clear … ”

Yet, that’s what happened when the Browns took out the Saints. And I doubt even the most intuitive soothsayer would have told this to a Raiders fan before Sunday’s game.

“You’ll go into Denver’s home stadium, against the hated Broncos and … six minutes into the game, you’ll have 21 points. You’ll lead by, oh, 38-0 in just 22 minutes. Yeah, 38-0. That sounds good. And you’ll end up scoring 59 points. What? The Raiders have never scored that many points in a game? Well, hey, the crystal ball doesn’t lie … What’s that? You have Darren McFadden on your fantasy team? OK, let’s say four touchdowns for him, too. What the heck.”

But it doesn’t stop there.

“Sure, I think D’Angelo Hall can intercept four passes in one half. Why not?”

“I see … a guy in a bar fight. His coach is punishing him, not letting him start. Yet, he’s good for 225 receiving yards and three touchdowns.”

“Yeah, Brett Favre can fracture his ankle in two places and put his legendary streak of 291 straight starts in genuine jeopardy. Tony Romo will break a collarbone, too. Count on it.”

“I see Big Ben diving toward the end zone … but he fumbled right before he got there … man, this is weird. My crystal ball is suddenly all hazy and I can’t tell you conclusively who recovered the fumble, even though a Dolphins player is walking off the field with the ball. Strange, indeed.”

“Tampa Bay and Kansas City will be 4-2 after Week 7, and Dallas will be 1-5 and San Francisco will be 1-6.”

A real fortune-teller would be the first to tell you – the NFL is something you just can’t predict.

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One of the nice things about being mayor is that you only have to run for office every six years, and when you do, your elections are in the spring. So while other legislators are busy this time of year campaigning, mud-slinging and posturing for votes any way they can, Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman has time to do something much more admirable and productive with his time – pick football games against the spread.

“I can’t think of anything more important to Las Vegas. Picking games against the spread keeps me happy. When the mayor is happy, that means he’s our drinking more, and out cavorting with showgirls more,” Goodman said. “At my home, my wife does not allow any sound on the TV right now, even during the games, for fear that we are going to hear one of those campaign ads. They’re all negative and frankly, they’re depressing. I see no redeeming value in them and I can’t wait for the elections to be over so I can turn the TV back up and listen to the games.”

Election season isn’t the only thing heating up this week. So is the chase for the Golden Nerf, and Goodman’s 3-0 record last week has him above .500 and in contention. Carrot Top still leads the field at 13-8.

“I have the privilege of going out with some entertainers every other month, and I’ve had the chance to meet Carrot Top and if I have to be trailing anyone, I’d just as soon have it be him,” Goodman said.

His Honor is from the Philadelphia area, and said his family offered some perspective on the ongoing debate in the City of Brotherly Love whether Michael Vick or Kevin Kolb should be under center for the Eagles.

“I was back East for the Conference of Mayors so I stopped by to see family in the Philadelphia area and they said that right now, the Eagles offensive line was in a shambles and I think that’s why they are starting Vick. He’s not a pocket quarterback and can scramble around and make plays,” Goodman said. “Kolb would get destroyed right now because of the line. If the guys up front get healthy, he can be very accurate.”

Goodman enjoys the competition, particularly when he is in the hunt to win it.

“I look forward to the last week, and winning,” he said. “Picking the games isn’t where the fun is – the fun is winning. I’ve got three more winners this week,” Goodman said.

Either he’s really confident – or maybe he just got the inside scoop from a fortune-teller.

Sal’s picks:A 1-2 week has the season mark at a still-respectable 12-9. This week, I’ll try the Dolphins +2½ at the Bengals, the Steelers pick at the Saints and the Colts-Texans over 49½.

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The media/celebrity picks:

Lance Burton, master magician (9-12)

Lions -2½ vs. Redskins

Raiders -2 vs. Seahawks

Colts -5½ vs. Texans

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Anthony Crivello, star of "Phantom -- Las Vegas Spectacular" (8-13)

Rams -3 vs. Panthers

Buccaneers +3 at Cardinals

Patriots -6 vs. Vikings

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Carrot Top, Luxor headliner (13-8)

Redskins +2½ at Lions

Chiefs -7½ vs. Bills

Steelers pick at Saints

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Terry Fator, Mirage headliner (8-13)

Jaguars +7 at Cowboys

Steelers pick at Saints

Seahawks +2 at Raiders

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Brad Garrett, Tropicana headliner (9-12)

Dolphins +2½ vs. Bengals

Raiders -2 vs. Seahawks

Packers +6 at Jets

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Oscar Goodman, mayor of Las Vegas (11-10)

Steelers pick at Saints

Chiefs -7½ vs. Bills

Titans +3½ at Chargers

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Alicia Jacobs, KVBC entertainment reporter (10-10-1)

Jets -6 vs. Packers

Chiefs -7½ vs. Bills

Dolphins +2½ vs. Seahawks

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Kevin Janison, KVBC meteorologist (8-12-1)

Packers +6 at Jets

Packers-Jets over 42½

Chiefs-Bills over 44½

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Wayne Newton, "Mr. Las Vegas" (10-9-2)

Redskins +2½ at Lions

Cardinals -3 vs. Buccaneers

49ers-Broncos under 41½

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Donny Osmond, Flamingo Las Vegas headliner (10-11)

Rams-Panthers over 37

Chargers-Titans over 44

Colts -5½ vs. Texans

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Lorena Peril, Vocalist, Fantasy at Luxor (8-13)

Bengals -2½ vs. Dolphins

Chargers -3½ vs. Titans

Colts -5½ vs. Texans

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Justin Spencer, star of Recycled Percussion at MGM Grand (10-11)

Saints pick vs. Steelers

Titans +3½ at Chargers

Dolphins +2½ at Bengals

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Frank Caliendo’s Fantasy Stud of the Week

Ryan Torain, Redskins

The Redskins’ running game has been an all-Torain vehicle since Ryan Torain took over as starting running back after Clinton Portis’ injury. He’s gained 225 yards and scored twice in his past two games, and this week he should have more green pastures this week against the Lions.

Last week’s result: SAFETY

Denver’s Kyle Orton had a pedestrian 198 passing yards and threw two touchdown passes, but his Broncos spent more time watching the Raiders pile up points than anything else last week.