Sandy Hackett reveals his heartache that lingers long after his father’s death

Courtesy

Sandy Hackett.

By Robin Leach (contact)

Monday, Aug. 2, 2010 | 2:29 p.m.

Sandy Hackett

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From July 14 through Aug. 4, Robin Leach will be relaxing under the Tuscan sun on his annual vacation and keeping his eyes on what’s happening in Las Vegas from Italy. Meantime, a kindly crew of Las Vegas celebrities and VIPs has agreed to write guest columns for Vegas DeLuxe.

By Sandy Hackett, guest columnist

My father was Buddy Hackett. My whole life, I never liked to tell people that because as soon as they found that out, they almost always had a perception of whom I was that wasn’t even close.

My father was fortunate to have a great career. He was paid well for his work, and fame came with his success. He had a cherubic face and was like a living Pillsbury Dough Boy. People always wanted to touch him. Most thought he was rich and, therefore, I must be rich, too. That’s not how it was.

I had my first job when I was 11 working for the recreation department refereeing games after school and on weekends. I think I made about a buck an hour. I always liked to work. It was something my folks instilled in me at a young age. At 14, I worked as a runner making and delivering blueprints for an architectural firm. The summer I turned 15, my father helped me get a job as a lifeguard at the pool at the Stardust in Las Vegas. I did that during the day, and at night I worked as a cook’s helper in the coffee shop of the Sahara, where my father headlined 20 to 30 weeks a year.

My father didn’t start out wealthy or famous. He was the son of immigrant parents who worked ridiculous hours to make ends meet. My dad wanted to be a doctor but didn’t have money to go to college. He was drafted in World War II and went into the Army. The war ended before he was shipped overseas. My father’s father was an upholsterer; he taught my father to work with his hands. The Army left my father with a fascination about guns. My father always worked hard, and he taught me to do the same.

When my father passed away, he left behind an accumulated wealth in the millions. My father talked to me about estate planning when we use to tour together. I wish he had taken his own advice. His estate planning was antiquated and set in place before he had amassed the better part of his wealth. He told me endlessly that he wanted his money to go to his children because he had worked hard for his children. He also left my mother very well off. He trusted her to fulfill his wishes and manage the trust he set up for his kids 35 years before his passing when his kids weren’t old enough to make decisions.

Courtesy

Mayor Oscar Goodman, second from right, and The Rat Pack cast.

A new man found his way into my mother’s life. I call him The Felon. He is 24 years my mother’s junior. He served time in prison for stealing from others. He is a con man and a crook and has already managed to get my mother to fire my father’s lifelong friend and accountant, who helped my father hold on to what he worked so hard for all his life. He’s conned my mother into making him a co-trustee on the Hackett assets. He’s already gotten her to give him millions, and recently I came to find out he got her to marry him.

My sister and I were forced to file a petition in L.A. Superior Court to safeguard my father’s legacy, protect my mother from the undue influence of The Felon and prevent him from fleecing her of everything and leaving her destitute.

My mother refuses to talk with me or my sister despite our repeated attempts to open the lines of communication. The Felon served time for conning people out of thousands of dollars. Now he’s conning for millions. In the process, I have lost a mother, and The Felon is trying to manage my father’s legacy. It’s all so pathetic and not what my father wanted.

So here’s the lesson: If you are someone who has done well for yourself, then you should be very precise in your estate planning for your money and assets when you are gone. You should make detailed plans, trusts and a will. Update them regularly. You should speak for yourself as to what you want to happen when you are no longer here, and you should make sure that nobody can alter your intent.

You should have a conversation with those you are leaving behind and let them know how you feel about them and that you have left a plan for when you are gone. You may choose to let them know or not know your plan, that choice is yours, but if you want them to have your belongings, then you should probably let them know while you are alive. If you are the children of someone who has done well, you should approach these uncomfortable subjects with your folks.

Do it now before it’s too late and they are either incapacitated by health or death. None of this is easy or fun to discuss. The alternative is to leave behind a mess, pain and heartache that never go away.

If by telling you my story I am able to save one other person the grief my sister and I have been forced to suffer, then my suffering will have purpose.

If you run into my mother and her new husband, please remember that he’s a con man and a felon. He’s taking her, and he will take you if you let him.

Flamingo comedian headliner George Wallace and nightlife guru Jack Colton are tomorrow’s guest columnists.

Follow Robin Leach on Twitter at Twitter.com/Robin_Leach.