Ten questions on Justin Timberlake’s annual golf tournament

By Ron Kantowski

Wednesday, Oct. 14, 2009 | 2 a.m.

Chris Morris

If this is Las Vegas and it’s the third weekend of October, it can mean only one thing.

UNLV has been mathematically eliminated from bowl game contention.

OK, it can mean only two things. It’s also again time for the annual Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children Open golf quiz.

Sharpen your pencils, play these questions where they lie and before you know it, you will receive total consciousness on your death bed from the Dalai Lama.

So like Carl Spackler in “Caddyshack,” you’ll have that going for you.

1. A report of a “wardrobe malfunction” from the tournament site is a sure indication that:

a) Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson have arrived on the putting green.

b) One of the Shriners is wearing black socks with Bermuda shorts.

c) John Daly has received a sponsor’s exemption and is about to tee off.

2. Which hole is expected to play the toughest this weekend?

a) The 563-yard par 5 9th.

b) The 444-yard par 4 18th.

c) The 68-foot par 2 windmill hole.

3. The inside-out swing of three-time Las Vegas PGA champion Jim Furyk most closely resembles:

a) An ampersand.

b) A pretzel.

c) A train wreck.

4. The question on the minds of most Las Vegas golf fans this week is:

a) “Where the heck is Ellen?”

b) “Where the heck is Tiger?”

c) “Where the heck is the nearest Porta-Potty?”

5. Of the following previously unknown golfers, which has never come out of nowhere to win a Las Vegas PGA title?

a) Marc Turnesa.

b) George McNeill.

c) Happy Gilmore.

6. Which of the following hazards is expected to provide golfers with the biggest problems?

a) Fast greens on the front nine.

b) Tall rough on the back nine.

c) Kenny G’s hair during the Pro-Am.

7. A delay on the No. 17 tee box during today’s Pro-Am can only mean:

a) Play has been suspended because of inclement weather.

b) People keep asking Alice Cooper for his autograph.

c) Amanda Beard is still finishing her round from last year.

8. Golf fans walking the back side of the TPC at Summerlin are advised to steer clear of which of the following indigenous species?

a) Desert tortoise.

b) Speckled rattlesnake.

c) Amateur shankapotamus.

9. The winner of the Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children Open will receive:

a) A check for $756,000.

b) The admiration of his peers.

c) UFL season tickets for $7.

10. Of the following interjections, which will be most used by gallery members over the tournament’s four rounds?

a) “Get in the hole!”

b) “You da man!”

c) “Sanford must go!”