Las Vegas Sun

March 29, 2024

COMMENTARY:

Running the state revenue structure meeting through a truth filter

If only someone spiked the java with truth serum before Thursday’s meeting of the Subcommittee to Conduct a Review of Nevada’s Revenue Structure, which will appoint members of the Nevada Vision Stakeholder Group (what’s in a name?):

Chairman Steven Horsford, the Senate majority leader: “Thanks to everyone for being here so we can continue this exercise in redundancy. We already know what’s wrong with the tax structure because five other reviews reached the same conclusion. But by doing it again, we can let everyone off the hook during the campaign season and prepare for a tax increase in 2011 to fill what may be a $3 billion hole.”

Senate Minority Leader Bill Raggio: “I’d like to say I am offended by that characterization, but, of course, I’m not. I will spend some time in the interim genuflecting to the right-wing kooks, whom I hate by the way. But I’ll be there for you next session, Sen. Horsford.”

Horsford: “I took that for granted, Senator. Now let’s meet the chosen members, those who are stakeholders and have vision. Who came up with that inane name, anyhow? No matter. First up: Alan Feldman of MGM Mirage.

Feldman: “Thank you, Mr. Chairman. It’s a pleasure to represent the gaming industry, Nevada’s most important stakeholders. We have a vision for the state and it’s simple: We pay most of the freight and we want others to start pitching in. I am here to protect the Strip’s interests, to make sure a gaming tax is not proposed and to try to impose as much of the burden on those Las Vegas Chamber of Commerce cheapskates as we can. Thank you.”

Horsford: “Thank you, Mr. Feldman. Next up is Steve Hill of the chamber. Your response, sir?”

Hill: “Thanks for choosing me because we at the chamber are stakeholders with 7,000 members and we have vision, too — we are always looking backward. What I mean is that so long as we can protect our largest members from taxation, our work is done. If the medium guys get hit with a payroll tax or even a net corporate tax or gross receipts, that’s the way the legislative ball bounces. Thank you.”

Horsford: “Love all this candor today. What did they put in the coffee? Next we have ex-Assembly Speaker Joe Dini, nominated by the Nevada Mining Association.”

Dini: “Thank you, Mr. Chairman. I was known as a plain speaker when I was, um, speaker, so let me be blunt: I’m here because the miners want to continue their 145 years of essentially paying nothing because they wrote the Constitution. Oh, they will claim they support a broad-based business tax, but they will make sure they pay a pittance. So long as there are no mining-specific taxes, they will be as happy as they have been since statehood. Thank you.”

Horsford: “So we all know well, Mr. Speaker. Next we have Jan Gilbert of the Progressive Leadership Alliance of Nevada.”

Gilbert: “Thank you, Mr. Chairman. We at PLAN have only one goal: Tax everyone who can be taxed. Gamers. Miners. Businesses. Newspapers. As Alvin Lee once put it, ‘Tax the rich, feed the poor ’til there are rich no more.’ That’s our philosophy. Oh, and once in a while, we’ll put out data and rhetoric about how corrupt you guys are to ensure we never get anything done. Thank you.”

Horsford: “Thank you. Next up is Bernava Johnson of the Nevada State Education Association.”

Johnson: “Thank you, Mr. Chairman. We want something simple: Money. More money. Lots more money. Oh, and we will fight you tooth and nail if you attach strings to any of the money or ask for any accountability measures. And always remember: It’s for the kids.”

Horsford: “Of course it is. Next up in Mayor Bob Cashell of Reno, representing local governments.”

Cashell: “Let me tell ya, Mr. Chairman, I’m gonna keep it simple, too. You guys screwed local governments last time and we are going to be inside the tent this time so you don’t do it to us again. And this time we won’t roll over. Got it?”

Horsford: “Clear as a bell, Mayor. Thanks. Too bad about that home rule bill, though. Finally, we have Jacob Snow of the Regional Transportation Commission.”

Snow: “Thank you, Mr. Chairman. Here’s the vision I have: Stop giving all the road money to the North and the rurals. It’s time the South rose again. I don’t usually talk this way and I don’t know why I am right now, but: Screw the North. Thank you.”

Horsford: “After hearing all of this testimony, I am amazed we don’t get more done in this state. On that note, the meeting is adjourned.”

Jon Ralston hosts the news discussion program “Face to Face With Jon Ralston” on Las Vegas ONE and publishes the daily e-mail newsletter “RalstonFlash.com.” His column for the Las Vegas Sun appears Sunday, Wednesday and Friday.

Join the Discussion:

Check this out for a full explanation of our conversion to the LiveFyre commenting system and instructions on how to sign up for an account.

Full comments policy