Chelsea Handler’s wit has many targets, including her dog

By Jerry Fink (contact)

Wednesday, Nov. 11, 2009 | 2 a.m.

PUBLICITY PHOTO

Chelsea Handler says she’s done writing until she’s at least 70.

Comedian, author and talk show host Chelsea Handler has a new dog and an old boyfriend. She calls them both Chunk.

“He asked me, ‘How am I to know which one you’re talking to from now on?’ ” Handler says from her car somewhere in Los Angeles. “I said, ‘From now on I’m always talking to the dog.’ ”

Her beau, 54-year-old Ted Harbert, moved in about three years ago. Her dog, a cross between a chow and a German shepherd, moved in about three months ago.

“A friend showed me a picture on the way back from a bachelorette party one weekend and said, ‘The dog is red-lined and if you don’t get him he’s going to be killed,’ ” Handler says. “I said, ‘What do you mean if I don’t get him?’ She said, ‘Well, somebody has to get him. The least you could do is go adopt the dog.’ ”

Handler, the host of E! Entertainment’s late night talk show “Chelsea Lately,” performs Saturday at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace.

Chunk, the dog, will appear on the cover of her next book, “Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang,” due to be released in March. Chunk, the boyfriend, appears in many chapters of the book.

“He’s the source of a lot of material for me,” Handler says. “He’s very opposite of me, a control freak. He’s an executive. He’s CEO of a company (Comcast Entertainment Group, which is over E! Entertainment and thus “Chelsea Lately”). He takes life a lot more seriously than I do. He gives me a lot of material because he’s confused by a lot of the things I do. I like to keep him confused. I like to keep him on his feet.”

She has written two other books, “My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands” and “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea.”

The 34-year-old entertainer is known for revealing her intimate details. She reveals a bit more as the cover girl of the December issue of Playboy. She’s not nude inside although a couple of sexy photos accompany “Chelsea Handler’s Guide to the Holidays.”

How did you get the Playboy assignment?

I approached Hef when I woke up next to him like any other Saturday morning.

Are your parents bothered by your being in the magazine?

My mother passed away, and I promised her I wouldn’t do anything like this while she was alive.

Does this represent a new direction in your career?

No, its not a new direction in my career. It’s a funny issue. And I have a lot of experience wearing bathing suits, so its not really a new direction.

You rescued a dog from certain death. Would you consider yourself to be an animal lover?

I love kids and I love animals, I just never wanted one of my own, so this is something new for me. But this is definitely my dog. It’s really nice. He’s a really good dog. I’m kind of surprised. My boyfriend is very jealous because I spend lot of time cuddling with him (the dog). The best part is, he can’t talk back like my boyfriend. He said, “You love the dog more than me.” I said, “Of course I love the dog more than you. The dog doesn’t argue with me.”

You say your boyfriend is a control freak. Does that lead to a lot of conflict, especially with your personality?

It definitely does, a lot of conflict. But it is very, very funny. I laugh a lot. He probably laughs a little less than me.

Are you going to do a follow-up to the book that will be released next year?

I have so much material from my life I could probably write many more books, but this will be the last one, at least until I’m 70. Now that I have a full-time job, it wasn’t as easy to write this last book.

You aren’t serious. All of your books end up on The New York Times’ best-seller list.

Yeah. It’s pretty sad if a personality from the E! Network has a New York Times best-selling book. It’s pretty indicative of where we are in the world.

Isn’t it painful for you to open yourself up the way you do?

I like making fun of myself. Besides, if I’m going to do it professionally on my TV show, to make fun of other people, then I need to be able to make fun of myself.