Taking a stand on the Las Vegas sports scene

Chris Morris

By Ron Kantowski

Wednesday, July 29, 2009 | 2 a.m.

Chris Morris

Chris Morris

Chris Morris

Chris Morris

Chris Morris

Chris Morris

Chris Morris

An Internet Web site (stoodthere.com) is sponsoring a poll called The Greatest Place to Stand in the United States, which means on Dec. 1, when the poll closes and they place a complimentary copy of USA Today in front of your hotel room door, you will be reminded that you don’t get away nearly enough.

At last check, there were three local spots on the list of top 100 great places to stand — Hoover Dam at No. 17, the Las Vegas Strip at No. 78 and Area 51 at No. 84.

The No. 1 greatest place to stand was The Lost Sea at Craighead Caverns in Tennessee, but you know what I always say: If you’ve seen one underground lost lake, you’ve seen them all.

I was stunned to discover that I had actually stood in 19 of the other great places to do so: Sears Tower in Chicago (No. 2), the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco (No. 3), Hearst Castle in San Simeon, Calif. (No. 4), the Gateway Arch in St. Louis (No. 7), Monterey Bay Aquarium in Monterey, Calif. (No. 10), Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico (No. 12), the Chicago Theatre (No. 16), Monument Valley, Ariz. (No. 20), the USS Arizona Memorial in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii (No. 23), Four Corners Monument (No. 36), San Miguel Chapel, Santa Fe, N.M. (No. 39), Alcatraz (No. 45), the Grand Canyon (No. 49), Petrified Forest National Park, Ariz. (No. 56), Navajo National Monument, Shiprock, N.M. (No. 61), Bryce Canyon Amphitheatre, Utah (No. 69), Mesa Verde Cliff Dwellings, Colorado (No. 70), the Space Needle, Seattle (No. 98), and Sea World in San Diego (No. 99).

Upon further review, I guess I get away plenty.

Other than Churchill Downs, Kentucky (No. 58), there weren’t any great sports places to stand on the ever-changing list.

If you could buy a snow globe or a bumper sticker commemorating the best — and worst — sports places to stand in Las Vegas, these would be near the top of my list:

Ten great Las Vegas sports places to stand:

In the Turn 1 grandstand at Las Vegas Motor Speedway at the start of an IndyCar race. Turn 3 if it’s NASCAR, because it takes at least a half-lap for the stock car guys to unwind their engines.

In the bleachers at Cashman Field at sunset when the 51s and Colorado Sky Sox are locked in a 0-0 tie and the sky beyond the left-field fence is various shades of purple, orange and pink, as it was Thursday.

 Behind the visitors’ bench at the Thomas & Mack Center when they shoot off indoor fireworks after the Rebels are introduced.

Ringside just before a major prizefight. See if the air on your arm doesn’t stand on end when Michael Buffer roars “Let’s Get Ready to RUM-M-M-BLE!”

At the Little League diamond when Junior comes through with the game-winning hit.

At the sold-out Las Vegas Bowl, when BYU fans create the sort of buzz you might hear at a real college football game.

In the Thomas & Mack Center when the Rebels are on an 11-0 run and Rick Pitino has to request a timeout.

In the audience whenever boxing promoter Bob Arum grabs the microphone and starts talking.

In a Las Vegas sports book during the first weekend of March Madness when somebody from a school such as Valparaiso hits a 3-pointer at the buzzer to win — or somebody from a school such as N.C. State hits a 3-pointer at the buzzer to cover.

At the crack of dawn before the Las Vegas Marathon, when it’s so cold you can see your breath and when it’s so quiet you can hear the neon buzz.

Ten not-so-great Las Vegas sports places to stand:

On the edge on the infield grass at third base when the 51s’ starting pitcher just up from Double-A New Hampshire is grooving 84-mph fastballs.

Outside the men’s room at a big fight if you’re the guy from the athletic commission responsible for collecting the urine specimen.

The Dale Earnhardt Terrace at Las Vegas Motor Speedway if A) you’re looking the other way when debris flies into the stands or B) are sitting directly next to the 290-pound guy from Tennessee who has had too much to drink.

Between the pipes at the Orleans Arena when the Wranglers are skating two men short.

On the shore at Lake Mead when the stripers simply refuse to bite.

In the row in front of Sarah Cummard, wife of BYU’s Lee, at a UNLV basketball game.

Near the fountains at Caesars Palace when one of the Knievels misses the mark.

On a train in a station with Plasticine porters with looking glass ties. Check that. That’s a not-so-cool place for one of the Beatles to stand.

In the shotgun formation when it’s third-and-16 and those Utah defensive ends have their ears pinned back.

Anywhere near the bucking pens at the National Finals Rodeo when Bodacious the bull — or one of his offspring — has indigestion.