The Elevator: Perfect pals, perfect games

By Ron Kantowski

Saturday, July 4, 2009 | 2 a.m.

A special Fourth of July, sparklers and snakes version of who’s going to the penthouse in local sports — and who’s getting the shaft:

SPARKLERS

Perfect pals

Greg Bollinger of Plainfield, Ill., and P.J. Massey of St. Joseph, Mo., have known each other for years but they had no idea they would be bowling on the same team at the United States Bowling Congress Open Championships at Cashman Center. They had no idea they would both roll 300 games, either, which happened Monday night. It was the “perfect” way for a couple of old pals to renew their friendship, although, surprisingly, neither one said it.

Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood

This elevator attendant is going to miss outgoing UNLV Chancellor Jim Rogers, if for no other reason than he always spoke his mind, had the university’s best interest at heart ... and returned phone calls. Plus, whenever he put on his sweater and house slippers, he made the big shots at UNLV kind of nervous.

Tougher than Dirk

In addition to being one of the most interesting players ever to wear a 51s uniform, deep-thinking Dirk Hayhurst also is getting people out since being called up by the Toronto Blue Jays. Through Thursday, he had appeared in 11 games and allowed just two runs for an earned-run average of 1.64, which means the garfooses are happy. Hayhurst signs every autograph with a little drawing of a “garfoose” — a half-giraffe, half-moose figment of a very active imagination.

SNAKES

Things that go bump in the afternoon ...

... Like the front of Kyle Busch’s car against the back of Martin Truex Jr.’s at last week’s NASCAR race in New Hampshire. Busch apologized — sort of — for causing a major pileup that transformed a bunch of stock cars into a bunch of crushed beer cans but added that NASCAR’s new double-file restart rule was more to blame. Then he took the rule book and tried to smash it like Pete Townshend’s guitar.

Which one’s Rocky?

The ad for Punch-Out at the Plaza, a combination boxing-mixed martial arts card downtown, neglected to mention any of the fighters by name. Or alias. This is never a good sign. It’s the pugilistic equivalent of paying good money to see one of those “An Evening With ...” concerts. “An Evening With Leo Sayer? No thanks. I think I’ll just go watch these lousy fights downtown.”

Duck soup

David Frohnmayer, president of the University of Oregon and chairman of the Bowl Championship Series Presidential Oversight Committee, this week expressed his preference for the current college football system, saying proposals for a playoff tournament “disrespect our academic calendars, and they utterly lack a business plan.” Translation: “I utterly belong to a BCS conference.”