Summer dreams

By Jon Ralston (contact)

Fri, Jul 3, 2009 (3 a.m.)

What they will do with their summer vacations?

The business of politics takes a hiatus — or it is supposed to during odd-numbered years, from sine die to Labor Day. This is the time politicians are supposed to slumber or take the kids to Disneyland or play golf or go hunting with cronies.

But there is no rest for the ambitious, so these Nevada pols have to combine work with play during their summer hiatuses. So what business will they be doing?

• Gov. Jim Gibbons: Counting the number of people who still support him (only needs fingers). Wondering why the chamber, the Strip and other business groups (aka former supporters) won’t return his calls. Upgrading to new iPhone for superior texting capability.

• Rep. Dean Heller: Cursing John Ensign. Thinking about running for governor. Thinking how simple and easy running for reelection would be.

• Clark County Commissioner Rory Reid: Raising more money. Raising more money. Raising more money.

• Assembly Speaker Barbara Buckley: Wondering why lobbyists suddenly aren’t afraid of her and are ignoring her. Thinking how nice it is that lobbyists are ignoring her. Basking in being out of the capital and not having to think about politics, musing that it might be OK not to run.

• Federal Judge Brian Sandoval: Cursing John Ensign. Falling asleep reading legal briefs, thinking how much better it would feel to fall asleep in the Governor’s Mansion. Smiling at new Hispanic demographic numbers.

• Mike Montandon: Cursing John Ensign. Wondering why no one outside North Las Vegas wants to give him money. Wondering why no one in North Las Vegas wants to give him money.

• Joe Heck: Cursing John Ensign. Thinking being in Iraq is better than being on the rubber chicken circuit. Wondering why no one remembers him anymore after being gone for only two years.

• Sen. John Ensign: Praying no one asks him any more questions. Avoiding the media like he once sought the spotlight. Staying out of the old neighborhood.

• Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman: Drinking. Thinking of stupid idea to snooker media into printing about his future political plans. Drinking.

• U.S. Sen. Harry Reid: Thanking God for John Ensign. Wondering how to scare out every candidate who might have a pulse. Joining Toastmasters on special father-son sign-up offer.

• State Senate Majority Leader Steven Horsford: Wondering if he will have to deal with Bill Raggio again. Figuring out how to get two more seats for a veto-proof margin. Dealing with a torrent of term-limited assemblymen who want to join his caucus.

• Assembly Majority Leader John Oceguera: Trying to make peace with all those angry subcontractors who want his head. Hoping those ambitious women in the caucus don’t try to leapfrog him to the speakership. Hoping the speaker doesn’t run for governor so he doesn’t have to worry about an endorsement.

• Rep. Dina Titus: Praying no one talks Joe Heck into not running for governor and into her reelection bid. Hoping Harry Reid is as powerful a Democratic vote-getter as Barack Obama. Wondering if maybe she shouldn’t run for governor again.

• Rep. Shelley Berkley: Wishing for the best for John Ensign. Hoping for the worst for John Ensign. Learning the names of places in CD2 and CD3.

• Every term-limited legislator: “What can I run for? What can I win? I don’t want to get a job.”