Stress of recession reaching into children’s lives

Steve Marcus

Donna Wilburn counsels families, many with children, in Summerlin and downtown Las Vegas. She says the recession is causing many people, regardless of income levels, to feel stress and consider suicide.

By Marshall Allen

Sunday, April 5, 2009 | 2 a.m.

Sadly, Donna Wilburn’s services are in demand.

Wilburn spends her days counseling children, adults and married couples at two clinics that serve people on both sides of the economic spectrum, in Summerlin and downtown Las Vegas. These days the rich and the poor are stressed about the same things: Rising debt. Foreclosures. Unemployment.

Even the children are stressed.

Some of her clients are suicidal. One was 8 years old.

Data compiled by the Clark County coroner’s office show a 10 percent increase in the rate of suicides from 2007 to 2008. Even before the increase, Clark County had one of the highest suicide rates in the nation.

The recession is likely a factor, said Wilburn, president of the Nevada Association of Marriage and Family Therapists.

Has there been an increase in people seeking therapy?

We’re all busy. Appointments are up by 20 percent over the past year. The stress on couples and families because of the economy is creating more conflict, more symptoms of depression. Even children are more anxious and showing the signs and effects of stress. All therapists are noticing it.

Are you hearing more people talk about suicide because of money problems?

I hear suicidal thoughts quite a bit. In the past it was mostly because of relationships or loneliness. But now it’s more often due to their financial situation. They don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. Now I’m hearing people say: It’s never going to be over. I’m never going to get out of this. I’m never going to get back on my feet. I just want an end to this.

And children are worried about the economy?

It’s the trickle-down theory — the stress that the parents are going through is affecting the children. Children are egocentric. They relate everything to themselves. They hear a lot more arguments and anxiety due to financial stress. So the children are overstressed and they don’t have the coping mechanisms to figure it out. Then the children feel pressure to fix it. When they can’t fix it they get stressed out, and some may consider suicide an option.

How do young kids know about suicide?

Sometimes they have had a family member or friend of the family commit suicide, so they think it’s an option. Those children are at higher risk. They just want to end it. They just want this suffering to be over.

Do you know any children who killed themselves?

No, but I know an 8-year-old who attempted it and a 10-year-old who talked about it. And I’m hearing more suicidal thoughts from children between the ages of 8 and 10 than I’ve heard before. Children don’t realize there are other options, and if they’re ever heard of suicide being an option, that seems like the easiest and quickest way. They can’t think long term, so they think this is a “now” option.

What should parents do about this?

Too many parents are giving children too much information about what’s going on in the economic world. They tell their kids: Things are going to be really rough. Life is going to be hard. We’re not going to be able to pay for your school next year. Things can be presented in a more positive light.

Parents also need to find inexpensive and creative ways to spend quality family time together, so children feel that sense of family togetherness and that everything is fine.

How else is the economy affecting relationships?

I have a few couples who are reluctant to separate or get a divorce because they cannot afford paying for two households or selling their house, because they’re underwater. They verbally say: We’re staying together because we cannot afford to not work this out. It’s a motivator to work on the relationship.