‘Monster Circus’ a parade of scrap metal

By Joe Brown

Wednesday, April 1, 2009 | 2 a.m.

Something called “Monster Circus” will be defiling the House of Manilow six nights a month, in what seems to be a desperate strategy to lure a younger, more down-market, free-spending crowd to the Las Vegas Hilton.

They’d have to be very free-spending to waste their money on this slapped-together garbage. There’s no earthly reason anyone should venture off the Strip (or pay a double-digit ticket price) to see a metal cover band plus go-go dancers, both of which can be found in abundance, separately or in combination, at dozens of bars.

“Monster Circus” could be seen as a poor man’s rock ’n’ roll fantasy camp — except instead of jamming with the has-been rockers, you have to stay in your seat and watch as they pound through a playlist of well-worn anthems including “Once Bitten, Twice Shy,” “Crazy Train” and “Highway to Hell.”

When “Monster” lurched into the Hilton last week, the starting lineup of metallurgists was a Frankenstein patchwork of solid utility players from once-hot bands: Rudy Sarzo (Ozzy Osbourne, Quiet Riot, Whitesnake, Dio), John Corabi (Motley Crue, Ratt), Fred Coury (Cinderella), Bruce Kulick (Kiss), and Tony Montana (Great White). Unless you’re a constant reader of “Vegas Rocks” magazine, none of them will be even remotely recognizable.

The stage is decorated with a six-pack of dancers in various combinations of bikinis and boots, who run through a rote routine of stripper poses and pole-clenching prowess, and deploy some impressive synchronized hair-flipping.

The rockers and the dancers don’t appear to have been introduced before the show; the boys in the band pay scant attention to the girls, which is true to vintage metal video form.

“Monster Circus” is oddly light on the circus side of the equation. There’s a Chuckie-esque sinister-clown mascot who appears on projection screens, an annoying leather-clad ringmaster who juggles fake guitars and belches fire, and languid aerialists who occasionally entwine sapphically, suspended from rings or ropes. There are flames and fireworks and random video clips of skulls and candles.

“I’ve heard more noise at a funeral!” shouted singer Montana, trying to scare up some audience enthusiasm. But this “Circus” is a snore. A very loud snore.

The evening’s funniest moments came when the video cameras panned the crowd — whose crossed arms and evidently bored faces appeared on the screens.

The crowd woke up only when guest star Dee Snider stormed the stage, a blast of energy in a sweeping frock coat, streaming blond corkscrew curls and that Crypt Keeper visage. The Twisted Sister frontman, who will return for the show’s April run, radiated true rock star charisma and energy, demanding that the crowd stand and scream along for “We’re Not Gonna Take It.”

You’re right, Dee. We’re not gonna take it. Is there a metal song called “We Want Our Money Back”?