Dennis Miller: Politics on the brain

By Jerry Fink

Wednesday, Oct. 22, 2008 | 2 a.m.

Dennis Miller

There are five seasons for comedian Dennis Miller — summer, fall, winter, spring and political.

With the presidential election just around the corner, Miller is armed with an arsenal of observations about politics and politicians sure to amuse his fans and outrage those who don’t agree with his conservative libertarian point of view.

One would think that his entire stand-up comedy routine — which he brings to the Orleans this weekend — were about politics.

“It’s probably five minutes out of the hour,” he says from Santa Barbara, Calif., where he’s just spent three hours hosting his syndicated radio talk show. “But I don’t want to preach. I’m a comedian, not a pontificator. So I do a little of both. I’m sure if I did nothing but political screams for an hour people would get sick of it.”

Although he may cover a lot of topics, it’s his political views many find the most provocative.

A strong supporter of John McCain, he doesn’t trust the polls that show Barack Obama leading. If Obama stays ahead by 7 or 8 points till the election, McCain probably won’t be able to pull it out, he says.

“But if it’s under five points, I think the silent majority will speak.”

1. On Barack Obama’s claims of racism

I only think the race issue is out there because Barack Obama brought it up. All I see is an inexperienced guy that constantly reminds me it’s about race. For me it has nothing to do with the color of Barack Obama’s skin and everything to do with the thinness of it.

2. On John McCain

I’m a strong supporter of John McCain. Listen any time a guy has lived a life like him — he gave me 5 1/2 years in a Vietnamese rat hole. I’m completely amenable to giving him four years. Guess what, I like where he stands on most things, too, but I would vote for him just for the other thing. People always say, “What’s that have to do with it?” For me, everything. I would give it to him just for that. That shows me he’s a mensch. That’s an unbelievable thing.

3. On Sarah Palin

I like Palin. She’s like me. I like her and I like McCain. I look at Biden and go, “I wouldn’t stay 36 years in Congress.” That seems like a soft job. I don’t quite get that. A true maverick gets out of there after 10 to a dozen years. Biden was sworn in by Nixon, for God’s sake. I look at Barack Obama and I’m not as smart as him — he went to Harvard and all that and he seems very smart. I look at Palin and I think, “Who reminds me the most of the way I think in this race?” And it’s her, so I gravitate toward her.

4. On abuse of power allegations

Her brother-in-law Tasered his 10-year-old son. I would hope she would use the office to hammer him. He’s a creep. What, people think politicians get in there and don’t try to use their power? If she used her power as governor of Alaska to say, “Hey, enough is enough. We’ve got a cop here who used a Taser on his 10-year-old son, he’s got to go” — good.

5. On the economy

We’re in the middle of a classic bear market, it seems, and for those uninitiated with the terminology of the marketplace, a bear market is one where I look at the personal portfolio that I have and I immediately run out into the woods and (defecate) myself. So that’s where I stand right now. I don’t know much about the market but I do know if they’re going to give these guys who run these companies into the ground a golden parachute it should be an actual golden parachute and they should give it to them at 18,000 feet and use it right there.