Keep in touch, no matter the method used

Judy Miller Gerard

Thursday, Oct. 2, 2008 | midnight

Have you ever wondered how many people you have met so far in your life, and interacted with on some level? I was pondering that recently, and then went on to consider how many people are still in my "Circle of Life."

I think we would be surprised to know just how many people we each have in our lives, be it a professional, business or personal connection. Some are casual, infrequent contacts; others are very important, close relationships, people we want to stay in touch with.

Have you ever lost touch with someone who was important to you through events/circumstances beyond your control, or through your own neglect? If the latter, it is difficult to live with.

Some people are better at staying in touch than others. I have friends who are meticulous about sending cards/notes for special events such as birthdays, anniversaries, etc, and they send them to arrive on time! Others make a phone call on special occasions, on time! Some even get gifts in the mail, on time! They each have their own way of doing that, but a common theme runs through their preparedness: they keep cards, paper, envelopes, stamps on hand, all in one place. And they know where that place is! These people impress me.

I have other friends who simply do not step up to the plate. They love hearing from us and getting together, but they absolutely do not accept any responsibility for maintaining the connection. In those cases, we have to make a choice as to whether that's OK with us or not. Sometimes it is, and sometimes not. I have a friend who is like that. In the case of this particular friend, I decided I value her friendship enough for it to be OK with me.

Of course, in our roster of people we want to stay in touch with, the frequency of communication varies. For some, once-a-year contact is plenty, preferably with a newsletter at the time of the holidays, sharing news of the family. I am aware that family newsletters are anathema to some, but many of us appreciate this annual catchup time.

Others on our list require more attention, perhaps once or twice a month a card, letter or phone call. Some folks stay in touch by e-mail. If you live in the same area, you can do breakfast or lunch together. And if you belong to some of the same groups or the same church, there is contact there.

And finally there are those with whom we are very close. They don't need a plan or a reminder, and neither do we. We will be in touch.

A note about e-mail: I love it. I find it is a great way to stay in touch and requires no paper, envelope, stamp or trip to the post office. One can write personal messages and/or check for incoming messages at any time of the day or night, and since I'm not a phone person, I appreciate the fact that the arrival of a message is not intrusive.

A note about snail mail: If you want to give a very special gift to a very special person, send them a handwritten letter. It is the ultimate compliment to the person who receives it. Sadly, this lovely, very personal art of communication is disappearing from our culture.

Whatever mode of communication we choose, the bottom line is, "Do it." Don't procrastinate. It is extremely important to honor the people and connections in our lives.

Judy Miller Gerard is a Henderson resident and can be reached c/o the Home News, 2360 Corporate Circle, Third Floor, Henderson, NV 89074; by fax at 434-3527 or e-mail at editor@hbcpub.com.