THE OPENING LINE:
Vick chew toy not so valuable to terrier or Shih Tzu
Mon, Jun 16, 2008 (2 a.m.)
It was almost a year ago when I sent away for “The World Famous Vick Dog Chew Toy.” In fact, I sent away for two, one for each of our dogs. When they finally arrived last week, the corner of the box looked a little chewed on. I think that is attributable to coincidence, or the UPS guy’s hunger pangs, but it does makes you wonder.
The World Famous Vick Dog Chew Toy is supposed to create awareness of cruelty to animals. That’s a noble cause, and I’m all for it, and I wish I could say that’s the reason I ordered two chew toys at $13.50 a copy. But if the truth be known, the real reason I bought them is that I’m a sucker for silly stuff like this, which might explain why my first pet was a rock, and not a Yorkshire terrier or a Shih Tzu, which perform that role now.
According to the Web site, any similarities between the World Famous Vick Dog Chew Toy and National Football League MVP Michael Vick are false.
The World Famous Vick Dog Chew Toy looks like a football player and has a big red No. 7 on a black jersey. It’s also left-handed, or at least is carrying a football in its left hand.
When I took mine out of the package, the first thing it did was ignore two wide open Not So World Famous Atlanta Falcons Wide Receiver Chew Toys and scramble 19 yards for a first down. Although that sort of looked familiar to observers of NFL MVP Michael Vick, who is serving time for his part in an illegal dogfighting ring, I’m sure the Chew Toy people wouldn’t mislead the Chew Toy-buying public.
My guess is that although the World Famous Vick Dog Chew Toy looks nothing at all like NFL MVP Michael Vick, and may, in small part, create awareness of cruelty to animals, what it’s probably going to create, based on the demand and how long I had to wait for mine, is a big fat number on the bottom line of the bank statement of the guys who came up with the idea.
Anyway, based on my experience, the novelty of owning a World Famous Vick Dog Chew Toy is going to wear off long before the plastic coating on it.
When I ripped off the shrink wrap and tossed it to our Yorkie, he gave it a brief sniff and continued to tear the fuzz off his tennis ball. The Shih Tzu didn’t even look up from her plastic rolled-up edition of The Doggie Times.
So the World Famous Vick Dog Chew Toy has been relegated to its rightful spot, the second step from the bottom of a staircase, where, I am quite sure, it’s just a matter of time before the air-conditioner guy trips over it and sues for everything I own.
THIS WEEK’S BEST BET
A Night of Combat: Boxing and mixed martial arts, 6 p.m. Friday, Thomas & Mack Center
Supposedly, every seat for an evening of left hooks and right knees is spoken for, probably because tickets are free. But maybe when you get there, the fire marshal will be preoccupied by the ring girl with the tight shorts.
TICKETS: Free, if you can find one.
ON THE WEB: www.unlvtickets.com.
ALSO WORTH A LOOK
Tacoma Rainiers at Las Vegas 51s, 7:05 p.m., Tuesday-Friday, Cashman Field
I’m not telling you which game to go to, but dollar beer night is Thursday.
TICKETS: $11-$13.
ON THE WEB: www.lasvegas.51s.milb.com
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