Ron Kantowski tosses around $752,467 worth of priceless ideas for Barry Bonds’ 756th home run ball
Saturday, Sept. 22, 2007 | 7:49 a.m.
Barry Bonds said this week that the man who bought his 756th home run ball and revealed he would let the public decide its fate is an "idiot."
So the guy's got that going for him.
Fashion designer Marc Ecko - apparently no relation to the cute British lizard of a similar name - posted the winning bid for the tightly wound chunk of cork, yarn and cowhide that Bonds muscled into the bleachers to break Hank Aaron's record. He paid $752,467 for it, or roughly what it costs for two Yankees-Red Sox tickets on StubHub.
Ecko, 35, has set up a Web site (www. vote756.com/marcecko/) that will let baseball fans or even people who play them on TV vote on three options for the ball: give it to the National Baseball Hall of Fame, brand it with an asterisk before sending it to Cooperstown or, my favorite, blast it into space on a rocket ship.
But here are a few more possibilities Ecko might have considered. Maybe you can just write them in, like on the All-Star ballot.
Have Britney Spears or her spitting image, rotund Milwaukee Brewers slugger Prince Fielder, throw it out to begin the Video Music Awards. But by all means have her rehearse it first. And keep her away from the margaritas and Prince's chewing tobacco.
Let O.J. steal it at gunpoint and add it to the rest of the stuff that isn't his.
Give it to the guy in the Pluto suit and let him throw a high, hard one at the brat who punched him in the planets at Disney World.
Ship it off to Africa, and wait for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to adopt it.
Inject it with flaxseed oil and list it on eBay as a basketball.
Get his money back from the guy he bought it from and spend it on something more meaningful, such as a Jackson Pollock painting.
Dip it in chocolate and let Kirstie Alley and Valerie Bertinelli fight over it.
Spit on it, then blame it on Gaylord Perry.
Trade it for a Honus Wagner card.
Trade it for Roger Clemens.
Pop it up on the left side of the Blue Jays' infield and yell "Mine!" just to see whether they would fall for that one again.
Put Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s new car number on it, take it to North Carolina and make some real money.
Take it to the Kansas City Royals bullpen and make it curve across the outside corner, just to show that it can be done.
Get Gen. David Petraeus to testify to its authenticity before telling the Senate Armed Services Committee that the Yankees' late-season surge is working.
Forge Bonds' signature on it, then send it to Jeff Kent as a peace offering.
If he's a Cubs fans, he could always trade it for that Steve Bartman guy's scalp.
Blast it into the space between Rosie O'Donnell's ears.
Hang onto it, just in case he's using the men's room in the Minneapolis airport and Sen. Larry Craig reaches under the stall for a souvenir.
Ron Kantowski can be reached at 259-4088 or at ron@lasvegassun. com.
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