Ron Kantowski on the possibility, however remote, that the Beas Hamga circus is proof that the NCAA, just maybe, might have it in for UNLV

By Ron Kantowski

Monday, Sept. 17, 2007 | 7:15 a.m.

Normally, I don't subscribe to conspiracy theories. I believe Oswald acted alone. I believe Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin did, indeed, go to the moon because if it were a hoax, Michael Collins, the command module pilot of Apollo 11, certainly would have spilled the beans by now. And I believe Britney Spears is quite capable of embarrassing herself, no matter how badly MTV needs ratings.

So in the final analysis, it could be that whatever passing grade in basket weaving or quantum physics that UNLV basketball recruit Beas Hamga needs to receive a high school diploma will check out, thus enabling him to enroll in school next month and start blocking every shot in sight as the Rebels continue to build on last season's unexpected success.

But inquiring minds (or at least those of Rebels fans) want to know: Could it also be that Bo Ryan is still upset by all those 3-pointers Kevin Kruger knocked down against his overrated Wisconsin team - The Badgers? Overrated? Where have we heard that before? - during the second round of last year's NCAA tournament?

By now you probably have read or shed big crocodile tears over the fact that Beas Hamga, UNLV's prized 7-foot recruit from Cameroon, doesn't have his papers in order. He has arrived at Checkpoint Charlie and the guards - in this case, NCAA investigators, which are far worse - want to know "Vat is your business in DDR?"

The NCAA has launched an investigation and that's never good, especially when both of your big men from last year have graduated. Now Hamga is awaiting word from the NCAA Clearing House to determine if has done enough schoolwork, at least it its hallowed estimation, to graduate from high school a year ahead of schedule, which would make him immediately eligible to start blocking shots for the Rebels.

The problem is the clock is ticking. If Hamga isn't enrolled in school by Oct. 15 he would be ineligible to block shots during the first semester. And waiting on the NCAA Clearing House can be like waiting on the Publisher's Clearing House to show up on your doorstep with one of those giant checks.

Hamga reportedly is not too pleased that he hasn't yet heard from Ed McMahon, or at least somebody from Gestapo - I mean, NCAA - headquarters. He keeps putting his trust in grown-ups who keep telling him what to do and that everything will be fine, and that soon he will be able to start blocking shots again, and, I almost forgot, to continue his American education.

I'd say he's already getting one thanks to this convoluted eligibility process in which he appears to have become a pawn, even though the first move was his.

Hamga, who has the wingspan of a DC-10 and has been likened to Emeka Okafor, the ex-UConn shot swatter, originally committed to Iowa. But when Hawkeyes fans ran Steve Alford out of town and all the way to New Mexico, Hamga elected not to follow him to the Land of Disenchanted Basketball Fans. (Note to Beas: Albuquerque may not be Nirvana, but compared to Iowa City it's the Serengeti during the rainy season.)

Thus, a second mini-recruiting derby broke out with Hamga as its focus. Kentucky thought it had him and so did Indiana. That's why, at least if you are a conspiracy buff, you could connect exhibits A to Z by saying somebody or something in between did not want UNLV to lock up Hamga without jumping through hoops that are nearly as tall as he.

Funny that when the Rebels were losing, I don't recall them having to wait on the NCAA Clearing House before Kaspars Kambala was given permission to play.

And so, I ask, coincidence or conspiracy?

Perhaps this will turn out to be nothing more than a simple misunderstanding, a clerical oversight that can be cleared up with the rubber end of a pencil, permitting Hamga to start blocking shots again and the Rebels and their fans to live happily ever after.

But maybe, just maybe, there's a second recruiter on the grassy knoll who wants to scrub UNLV's lunar landing and award custody of the Rebels' basketball future to Britney Spears' choreographer.